Is your anger covering up vulnerable emotions?

Is your anger covering up vulnerable emotions?
by I June 23, 2019

Ed sat across from me in an intensive session, not able to wrap his head around the idea that his wife desperately needed him to have some sort of feelings for her. A long marriage, kids, and financial success were in the balance, as she was ready to divorce him because he could not express any kind of deeper emotion and was stoic and cold. I could see him struggling with this notion that he had feelings and needed to share them. One of the first things I do in counseling is see where your deep feelings begin to come
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Is Anger Controlling You?

Is Anger Controlling You?
by I May 19, 2019

Anger, when it’s out of control, is an insidious beast that wreaks havoc in people’s lives. If rage is something that you struggle with, it’s important to understand the biology of anger, as well as learn techniques that will allow you to better mitigate it.
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Letting Your Spouse Have Their Process

Letting Your Spouse Have Their Process
by I March 19, 2019

Over decades of working with people in many capacities and from all walks of life, I have seen that people need time and space to struggle with and learn from their old habits and patterns and to integrate newer, healthier ideas into their lives. The key words here are space and struggle—concepts that often make a person’s spouse quite uncomfortable. So, why does someone need space from their partner in order to grow?
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A Woman Scorned

A Woman Scorned
by I February 27, 2019

By the time most couples seek help with their marriage, anger is a profound element of the relationship. I’ve also noticed, however, that it’s common for neither party to acknowledge their own anger, although they can often easily point out the anger within their spouse. Wives might bring up their husband’s outbursts, raging, or controlling behavior. Husbands tend to point out their wife’s lack of forgiveness, withdrawal, or depression. Each of them feels fairly justified in what they’re allowing to brew under the surface of their behavior, without recognizing how much damage their anger is doing.
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Overcoming Financial Stress in Blended Families

Overcoming Financial Stress in Blended Families
by I February 20, 2019

Nearly 50% of families in the U.S. today are blended families (remarried or recoupled). According to Allianz, an insurance and investment company, many blended families tend to be more financially challenged than non-blended families, more likely to live paycheck to paycheck, and more likely to feel that their spouse/partner brought financial baggage to the relationship that’s hard to overcome.
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Can I Make You Change?

Can I Make You Change?
by I February 3, 2019

I frequently hear people say that we can’t make other people change. Objectively speaking, when push comes to shove, we certainly cannot force another person to change. If we could, we would have everything we wanted and that would probably not be good for us or the other person in the long run. It is within the individual to decide to change. But, do we sometimes use this concept as an excuse not to do everything in our power to help facilitate change in another person?
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Does Time Heal All Things?

Does Time Heal All Things?
by I January 14, 2019

We have all heard the adage “time heals all things.“ But does it really? Have you ever continued to feel guilt or shame because you have not been able to just “get over” something that has happened to you, even though a significant amount of time has passed? Maybe somebody hurt you years ago, but the memory hasn’t stopped haunting you, no matter how many people told you time would heal that wound. Or maybe you’ve been stung by another’s biting comment, “Why can’t you just move on?”
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