Narcissism and Emotional Abuse: Paying Attention to Your Path

Narcissism and Emotional Abuse: Paying Attention to Your Path
by I March 24, 2019

Many of our blogs identify the narcissist as “him” and the victim as “her.” While most of our content leans that way, and most of the couples who seek our help lean that way, the reality is, not all narcissists are men, nor are women the only victims. We are all, male and female, quite capable of being absolutely arrogant, carelessly emotionally destructive, and acrimoniously self-protective. And the outcome is the same: relationships marred by trauma, brokenness, and deep pain. We end up in relationships that are shallow, void of connection, and wracked with fear and confusion.
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Letting Your Spouse Have Their Process

Letting Your Spouse Have Their Process
by I March 19, 2019

Over decades of working with people in many capacities and from all walks of life, I have seen that people need time and space to struggle with and learn from their old habits and patterns and to integrate newer, healthier ideas into their lives. The key words here are space and struggle—concepts that often make a person’s spouse quite uncomfortable. So, why does someone need space from their partner in order to grow?
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A Woman Scorned

A Woman Scorned
by I February 27, 2019

By the time most couples seek help with their marriage, anger is a profound element of the relationship. I’ve also noticed, however, that it’s common for neither party to acknowledge their own anger, although they can often easily point out the anger within their spouse. Wives might bring up their husband’s outbursts, raging, or controlling behavior. Husbands tend to point out their wife’s lack of forgiveness, withdrawal, or depression. Each of them feels fairly justified in what they’re allowing to brew under the surface of their behavior, without recognizing how much damage their anger is doing.
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Overcoming Financial Stress in Blended Families

Overcoming Financial Stress in Blended Families
by I February 20, 2019

Nearly 50% of families in the U.S. today are blended families (remarried or recoupled). According to Allianz, an insurance and investment company, many blended families tend to be more financially challenged than non-blended families, more likely to live paycheck to paycheck, and more likely to feel that their spouse/partner brought financial baggage to the relationship that’s hard to overcome.
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Can I Make You Change?

Can I Make You Change?
by I February 3, 2019

I frequently hear people say that we can’t make other people change. Objectively speaking, when push comes to shove, we certainly cannot force another person to change. If we could, we would have everything we wanted and that would probably not be good for us or the other person in the long run. It is within the individual to decide to change. But, do we sometimes use this concept as an excuse not to do everything in our power to help facilitate change in another person?
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Does Time Heal All Things?

Does Time Heal All Things?
by I January 14, 2019

We have all heard the adage “time heals all things.“ But, does it really? Have you ever continued to feel guilt or shame because you have not been able to just “get over” something that has happened to you, even though a significant amount of time has passed? Maybe somebody hurt you years ago, but the memory hasn’t stopped haunting you, no matter how many people told you time would heal that wound. Or maybe you’ve been stung by another’s biting comment, “Why can’t you just move on?”
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How do I Know if he’s Really Changing?

How do I Know if he’s Really Changing?
by I January 7, 2019

Lisa had recently realized that her marriage wasn’t functioning well. She had wrapped her life around Joe, managing the house, the kids, and the schedule to cater to his expectations. Now, several years in, she was becoming aware of some important issues, namely (1) Joe’s “expectations” randomly changed, (2) he did not take her seriously, and (3) he had no real empathy or understanding of her, nor did he seem to want to.
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How Emotional Maturity Affects Your Relationships

How Emotional Maturity Affects Your Relationships
by I December 30, 2018

Cut a tree open and count the rings—that’ll tell you how old the tree is. Each ring represents the amount of new wood produced during the growing season. Occasionally a tree will go a year without any new growth; sometimes it’ll produce two rings in one year. But, more or less, a ring equals a year. Chronologically, we humans work kind of the same way. Our outside changes—like graying hair or wrinkled and sagging skin—are all common signs of our age. Someone who is 60 years old usually looks around 60 years old.
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Narcissistic Traits or Malignant Narcissism?

Narcissistic Traits or Malignant Narcissism?
by I December 9, 2018

No one deserves to be mistreated by another. No one! To be insulated from mistreatment, however, we must always be on the alert for those who would mistreat us. First, let me be clear: any form of narcissism is destructive. Yet, it is one thing to experience abuse at the hands of someone with narcissistic traits and something altogether more debilitating if the abuse has been perpetrated by a malignant narcissist.
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