Defining Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse is real and very destructive. Emotional abuse is a pattern of defensive behavior used to gain and maintain power and control over a partner—wittingly or unwittingly. This form of abuse is a pattern of behavior including constant criticism, humiliation, and dismissiveness of another’s thoughts and feelings. These patterns of manipulation and intimidation lead to the loss of a person’s sense of identity, dignity, and self-worth, which further results in significant anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and even suicidal feelings.
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The Mirror in Your Marriage

Want to grow? Try marriage. No, seriously. Marriage is the absolutely best place to grow. I know some of you may think I’ve lost my mind. “Marriage,” you say, “is the last place I grow. It’s the place I cope, struggle, work to recover from.” I understand that. But let’s begin with a quiz. Just give the first answer that comes to your mind. Who knows you better than anyone else? Who has seen you at your absolute worst? Who knows your darkest secrets? Who knows your worst character traits? Who has the greatest power to help you heal from
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Another Fortunate Growth Opportunity

“I blew it again this week,” a man said to me recently. “What happened?” I asked. “I don’t know what I was thinking,” he continued. “My wife reminded me of something she wanted me to do for her and I forgot all about it. Big mistake.” “But, was it a ‘mistake?’” I asked. “Or was this the kind of ‘mistake’ you make on a regular basis?” “Well,” he continued sheepishly, “it is something she has called me on a number of times before. It’s a pattern, I suppose. I just can’t seem to help it.” “So, it’s not really fair
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Listening to Your Anger

Anger is often viewed as an emotion that will get us into big trouble if we’re not careful. Most of us have learned that we must “manage our anger.” But what if our concepts about anger management are a bit misguided? What if, instead of managing and suppressing our anger, we explored anger and the feelings lurking below the surface? What if, instead of corralling and suppressing our anger, we learned about the emotions that anger is covering up and how to talk about them?
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Counseling for Highly Conflicted Couples

Everyone longs to live in peace. We can have money, opportunity, a lovely home, and children, and yet we’re not happy if we don’t have peace in our marriage. I consider myself a seasoned marriage counselor. And, while I feel excited at the prospect of helping each new couple and working through the challenge ahead, high-conflict couples can sometimes strain my capabilities.
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Broken Before the Affair

An affair, physical or emotional, is a betrayal of the worst kind. The one to whom you’ve entrusted your life, who you’ve shared every intimate aspect of living with, now has shared those very aspects of their being with someone else—a place and part of them that should be reserved exclusively for you. You trusted someone with your heart, soul and emotions; you counted on them to keep you safe. An affair shatters the trust, safety, and honesty you believed in.
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