Can I Make You Change?

Can I Make You Change?
by I February 3, 2019

I frequently hear people say that we can’t make other people change. Objectively speaking, when push comes to shove, we certainly cannot force another person to change. If we could, we would have everything we wanted and that would probably not be good for us or the other person in the long run. It is within the individual to decide to change. But, do we sometimes use this concept as an excuse not to do everything in our power to help facilitate change in another person?
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How Emotional Maturity Affects Your Relationships

How Emotional Maturity Affects Your Relationships
by I December 30, 2018

Cut a tree open and count the rings—that’ll tell you how old the tree is. Each ring represents the amount of new wood produced during the growing season. Occasionally a tree will go a year without any new growth; sometimes it’ll produce two rings in one year. But, more or less, a ring equals a year. Chronologically, we humans work kind of the same way. Our outside changes—like graying hair or wrinkled and sagging skin—are all common signs of our age. Someone who is 60 years old usually looks around 60 years old.
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You Reap What You Sow

You Reap What You Sow
by I November 18, 2018

I learned long ago the rule “garbage in, garbage out.” In other words, you usually get out what you put in. It is the idea of sowing and reaping. If all I plant is corn then that is all I will get. This concept can be applied to marriage as well. What do you want to reap in your relationship? Do you want a relationship that is meaningful, helpful, loving, caring and affectionate? Are you sowing what’s necessary to meet that goal? If not, perhaps you need to sow something else. In other words, change what you’re doing.
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Communication 101: Part 1

Communication 101: Part 1
by I November 4, 2018

Over the next few months, we’re going to be diving deep into the art of communication, which I see as the single biggest area of personal growth. Communication, when done elegantly and thoughtfully, can make us feel connected to others and help us feel understood. But, when done poorly, communication can contribute to conflict and alienate us from ourselves and our loved ones. Furthermore, among couples, while bad communication might not be the root of all conflicts, it certainly interferes with any attempt at resolution.
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Letting Go of Snooping

Letting Go of Snooping
by I September 17, 2018

I need the truth to get back to normal. The first thing we tend to do when our spouse does something to cause suspicion is go digging, scrounging up any and every possible detail and angle we can find to help us “know” what is really going on. Suddenly, we have a desperation to fit pieces together that we didn’t even realize were missing or to find evidence to disprove what we now “know” so we can “go back to normal.”
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Are you talking down to your spouse?

Are you talking down to your spouse?
by I June 10, 2018

Do you talk down to your spouse and then become surprised when they snap at you or give you the silent treatment? Years ago, I was working in a traditional finance job at a venture capital firm and we were lucky enough to have a seasoned executive teach a workshop on communication. He was a straight-shooter, and the methodology he shared with our firm that day was remarkably simple, but also remarkably powerful.
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Money and Relationship Manipulation

Money and Relationship Manipulation
by I June 8, 2018

Is money important to us? Does it influence us? Most people would agree that money is a powerful motivator that can be used for good or bad. It can help a relationship grow and feel secure or it can be used as a manipulative tool. The Bible teaches that love is the value we need to exude. Love is about relationship.
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You might need solo therapy if…

You might need solo therapy if…
by I June 1, 2018

Here at the Marriage Recovery Center, our primary mission is to bring struggling couples closer together and teach them the necessary tools to promote long-term happiness through mutual, compassionate support. This good work can only be possible when each partner is genuinely able to feel what they’re feeling, to communicate these emotions effectively to others, and then to make healthy choices that support their utmost well-being. For only when we are healthy can we help our relationships to thrive.
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