Finding Sanity in the Age of COVID-19

Finding Sanity in the Age of COVID-19
by I April 1, 2020

You may never have looked at it this way, but relationships have personalities, just like people do. Some are calm, durable, steady, and comfortable; others are fiery and full of ups and downs. Some marriages contain partners who are joined at the hip and who live most of their lives in each other’s company, perhaps even managing to work together as well as live together. Others function better with more time apart, where each person pursues individual interests while still being able to come together over shared enjoyments. When you take the personality of the marriage and combine it with
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How Strong is Your Foundation?

How Strong is Your Foundation?
by I February 19, 2020

One of the primary themes at the Marriage Recovery Center is the concept of “Healing Together”. This philosophy refers to the concept that a marriage can only heal if both individuals do their part in the process. We frequently ask husbands and wives to do individual work in addition to the growing they do together. Men, this one is for you!
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The Attack on Marriage in the Fall of Eden

The Attack on Marriage in the Fall of Eden
by I February 19, 2020

Directly after sinning against God by entertaining and agreeing with Satan’s accusation against Him, Adam and Eve got straight on to sinning against one another and against their marriage. The result has echoed throughout the ages. There is a principle in scripture that the older and more original a thing is, the more power it has. What this means for us is that the sin that Adam and Eve committed against one another and against their marriage tends to be a powerful stronghold present in many marriages today. Genesis 3: 9-12 records that as the snake engaged Eve in conversation,
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When Sleeping Dogs Won’t Lie

When Sleeping Dogs Won’t Lie
by I February 13, 2020

People often have anxiety about getting help for their marriages. That anxiety can have many sources. For example, concern about what others will think—will they assume our marriage is in trouble? Sometimes the anxiety is that talking about the marriage with someone else will stir up problems and “awaken sleeping dogs.” We tend to work hard at sweeping things under the rug, stuffing away our feelings and learning to live with the way things are. Looking at the truth of our feelings and relationships can be intimidating and frightening.
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To Be Told or Not to Be Told: Why We Use a Directive Counseling Approach

To Be Told or Not to Be Told: Why We Use a Directive Counseling Approach
by I January 26, 2020

The majority of people who come to see me say they have been to multiple counselors, both personally and for their marriage, and that most of them have been less than helpful, if not harmful. I think there are two particular elements impacting the effectiveness of their previous counseling: 1) the dynamics of narcissistic and emotional abuse on the victim and the relationship are unrecognized, and 2) the ineffective use of non-directive approaches to address the issues.
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Is He Really Changing? Part 2

Is He Really Changing? Part 2
by I November 3, 2019

In part 1 of this blog (which you can read here), I wrote about the pressure some of you wives may feel to come up with the list of behaviors that your husband needs to change. I encouraged you to take inventory of where he’s gone wrong and what needs to change and share that list with him. When your husband steps up to the plate to take responsibility for his own behavior, he sets a much more effective stage for healing.
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Listening to Your Anger

Listening to Your Anger
by I October 27, 2019

Anger is often viewed as an emotion that will get us into big trouble if we’re not careful. Most of us have learned that we must “manage our anger.” But what if our concepts about anger management are a bit misguided? What if, instead of managing and suppressing our anger, we explored anger and the feelings lurking below the surface? What if, instead of corralling and suppressing our anger, we learned about the emotions that anger is covering up and how to talk about them?
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