Has someone placed the label of narcissism on you? Or have you been called an emotional abuser? Let’s face it – no one wants to be labeled. At the same time, and regardless of the label, perhaps there still are behaviors that need to be examined in your life. Sharmen shares helpful tips on what to do if you’ve been labeled a narcissist or an abuser, and how to seek healing for your marriage regardless of labels.
What to Do if You’ve Been Labeled a Narcissist or an Abuser
Nobody enjoys being labeled a narcissist or an abuser, but the truth is, if you’re reading this article, it’s likely because your behavior in your relationship is causing harm and distress. The key to transforming your relationship into a solid, connected, and purposeful marriage lies in acknowledging the need for change. Regardless of the label, whether you accept it or not, if your actions are eroding your relationship, it’s time to take action. This article explores practical steps to address and rectify destructive behavior in relationships.
Recognizing the Need for Change
If your relationship is crumbling, it’s essential to recognize the destructive patterns in your behavior and their impact. Be honest with yourself and acknowledge that change is necessary. Whether it’s narcissistic tendencies or abusive behavior, the first step is to admit the problem.
The second law of thermodynamics states that all things tend toward chaos. To build a healthy and thriving relationship, you must be intentional about your actions. Without intention, your efforts will result in chaos, and your relationship will continue to deteriorate.
Take a Fierce Inventory
To move forward, you must take a fierce inventory of yourself and your behavior. Identify actions that are destructive, careless, or deceitful. These actions do not contribute to building a strong relationship; they tear it down. Acknowledge these behaviors and commit to eliminating them.
Define Who You Want to Be
Consider who you want to be in your relationship. If you examine yourself closely, you’ll likely find aspects of your behavior that you don’t wish to embody. Instead of projecting your shortcomings onto your spouse, take responsibility for these flaws and work on improving yourself.
Clean Up Your Own “Dirty Laundry”
Rather than blaming your spouse for discussing your relationship issues with others, focus on the root cause of the problem. It’s not the conversation that’s harmful; it’s the existence of “dirty laundry” in the first place. Tackle your own issues and make improvements in your behavior. This way, discussions about your relationship will reflect your positive growth.
Seek Help and Support
Recognize that change is challenging, and you may not have all the answers. Seek help and guidance from trusted sources. This could include couples’ therapy, individual counseling, or guidance from trusted friends and family. Professionals can provide valuable insight, wisdom, and accountability, helping you on your journey towards positive change.
Gaining knowledge and insight is valuable, but it’s essential to put that information into practice. Taking action is crucial in transforming your relationship. Apply what you’ve learned, make necessary changes, and work consistently toward creating a healthier, more loving partnership.
No one wants to be labeled a narcissist or an abuser, but it’s essential to prioritize the health and happiness of your relationship over your ego. Relationships require effort, intention, and self-reflection. By acknowledging destructive behaviors, embracing intentionality, taking a fierce inventory, defining who you want to be, and seeking help and support, you can work towards rebuilding a stronger, more loving connection with your partner. Remember, it’s never too late to change, and with dedication and hard work, you can build the kind of marriage you truly desire.
About Dr. Hawkins:
The internet is inundated with hyperbole and misinformation about narcissism, leaving many people confused and hopeless. Get the facts on narcissism and emotional abuse from someone who has been researching, writing about and treating narcissism and emotional abuse for over a decade.
Dr. Hawkins is a best-selling author and clinical psychologist with over three decades of experience helping people break unhealthy patterns and build healthier relationships.
He is the founder and director of the Marriage Recovery Center and the Emotional Abuse Institute which offers education, training and counseling for people who want to break free of, and heal from, emotional abuse. Whether the perpetrator of the abuse is your spouse, partner, parent, boss, friend or family member, we offer practical advice for anyone trapped in a toxic, destructive relationship.
In addition to narcissism & emotional abuse, you’ll learn about the lesser known forms of abuse, including covert abuse, reactive abuse, spiritual abuse, secondary abuse, relationship trauma and much more.