Narcissistic Traits or Malignant Narcissism?
Is Your Marriage Making You Sick?
For years researchers have championed the positive aspects of being married. Healthy marriages offer us opportunities to have a partner in facing stress, a mate for vacations, not to mention a companion in achieving many of life’s goals. Friend, partner, and even soul-mate. When a marriage is functioning effectively, even our bodies reflect the healing power of close and intimate friendship. But, what happens when your marriage is fraught with bickering and emotional abuse? Medical professionals are quick to inform us about the impact of stress on our bodies. We need to pay attention to what emotional tension does to
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What He Wants Her to Know
A while ago, I produced a series of videos called What She Wants Him to Know. I tried to capture the sentiment of what emotionally abused women desperately want their mate to know and understand about them—that they need to be seen as an individuals and encouraged to find and speak their voice, to be empathized with and valued, to have their anger and hurt understood, and for men to go on their own journey of in-depth healing. They want the abuse to stop so healing can begin.
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Letting Go of Snooping
I need the truth to get back to normal. The first thing we tend to do when our spouse does something to cause suspicion is go digging, scrounging up any and every possible detail and angle we can find to help us “know” what is really going on. Suddenly, we have a desperation to fit pieces together that we didn’t even realize were missing or to find evidence to disprove what we now “know” so we can “go back to normal.”
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Is emotional abuse contagious?
“I can’t believe the way I act toward my husband,” a client told me recently. “I speak in ways I never used to. I call him names, just like he does to me. I respond to him in the same angry tone he uses. I’m not proud of it, but it happens.” I often share with couples that “emotions are contagious.” Think about the last time someone spoke harshly to you. Did you speak harshly back or at least consider doing so? It is tempting to react to provocative behavior by acting in a similar manner. We’ve all done it.
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A Word to the Helpers: How to Spot A Covert Abuser
As I frequently say, covert abuse is an epidemic we must face. We must become informed and trained to reach out and intervene in situations involving narcissism and emotional abuse. We must stop enabling the perpetrator, standing by as a person is harmed. There must be an intervention—stepping in, seeing what is taking place, and saying or doing something to help bring about change.
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How to Spot A Covert Abuser
The church was a large part of my childhood. Raised by hardworking parents, I lived in “small town America,” in a neighborhood with other families like mine. My church was a part of this loving community, a second family to me, an extension of our home life.
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Narcissism = Emotional Immaturity
I am spending increasing amounts of time with my five grandchildren. They are at the same time delightful, charming, engaging, manipulative, deceptive and self-centered. They are emotionally and socially immature, having little sense about the needs of others or how to mesh what they want with what is expected of them. They have little awareness of how their angry outbursts impact those around them. They often cannot see how shifting the blame, causing confusion, or getting angry inhibits their growth.
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Money and Relationship Manipulation
Is money important to us? Does it influence us? Most people would agree that money is a powerful motivator that can be used for good or bad. It can help a relationship grow and feel secure or it can be used as a manipulative tool. The Bible teaches that love is the value we need to exude. Love is about relationship.
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When Scripture is Used to Abuse
God never forces anyone to be in relationship with Him. Never. The whole idea of “love” is that it is an invitation. The moment a relationship is coerced, where one person is manipulated by the other to stay in it, that relationship is no longer about love—and it no longer reflects God.
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