How do you know if you are in a relationship with a crazy maker? The answer is simple: they make you feel crazy. And the worst part? No one else can see what’s happening, so you appear to be the crazy one. You may even start to question yourself, your sanity, and your perceptions. This kind of mistreatment is called covert emotional abuse.
How to Handle a Relationship With a Crazy Maker
Recognizing Covert Emotional Abuse
In the realm of relationships, there’s a term you might not have heard of before – the “crazy maker.” This elusive character is a master of covert emotional abuse, and their actions often leave their partners feeling emotionally unsteady, uncertain, and, well, crazy. Dr. David Hawkins, has shed light on this phenomenon in his book, “Dealing with the Crazy Makers in Your Life.” In this article, we’ll explore how to handle a relationship with a crazy maker, starting with recognizing the signs and moving towards finding solutions.
Signs of a Crazy Maker
Feeling Emotionally Unsteady
One of the primary indicators that you’re dealing with a crazy maker is how you feel when you’re around them. If you find yourself constantly feeling emotionally unsteady, it might be a red flag. Your emotional rollercoaster ride might include moments of confusion, self-doubt, and anxiety. It’s as though the ground beneath you is constantly shifting, and you can’t quite find your balance.
Challenged Thoughts and Beliefs
Crazy makers excel at challenging your thoughts and beliefs. They question your opinions, values, and decisions, making you doubt your own judgment. This manipulation can leave you feeling mentally drained and second-guessing your every move.
Resistance to Your Actions
Another common trait of a crazy maker is their resistance to your actions. They might undermine your choices, preferences, and the way you do things. Simple tasks become battlegrounds, and you’re left feeling like everything you do is wrong.
The Covert Nature of Emotional Abuse
The term “covert emotional abuse” describes a type of abuse that is often hidden from plain sight. Crazy makers employ passive-aggressive tactics that aren’t immediately obvious to those around you. This covert nature can make it challenging for others to recognize the abuse, even when you feel its effects deeply.
Identifying Covert Emotional Abuse
So, how do you identify covert emotional abuse? It starts with acknowledging your feelings. If you feel crazy or emotionally unstable in your relationship, it’s time to take a closer look. Trust your instincts, and don’t let the hidden nature of the abuse deter you from seeking understanding.
Recognizing Passive Aggression
One key characteristic of a crazy maker is passive aggression. They express their anger or resentment indirectly, often by dragging their feet, being oppositional, obstinate, or ornery. These behaviors are their tools for exacting emotional control over you, and they can be challenging to spot for outsiders.
Becoming aware of covert emotional abuse is the first step toward breaking free from its grip. It’s about developing your ability to recognize these subtle signs and trust your instincts when something doesn’t feel right.
If you suspect you’re in a relationship with a crazy maker, taking action is crucial for your well-being. Here are some steps to consider:
1. Seek Professional Help
Consider seeking the assistance of a specialist who can help you navigate this challenging situation. They can provide guidance and support in addressing the issues within your relationship.
2. Confrontation and Communication
Attempt to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about your feelings and concerns. Pay attention to how they receive the confrontation. Are they willing to acknowledge the problem and work on it effectively? If not, it may be a sign that professional intervention is needed.
3. Efficient Problem-Solving
Evaluate how efficiently you and your partner deal with problems in your relationship. Healthy interactions involve identifying issues and finding effective solutions. If problem-solving seems next to impossible, it may be indicative of emotional immaturity or manipulation on their part.
4. Establish Boundaries
Setting boundaries is crucial when dealing with a crazy maker. Clearly communicate your limits and expectations within the relationship. Be prepared to enforce these boundaries if they are repeatedly violated.
5. Self-Care and Support
Prioritize self-care and seek support from friends, family, or a therapist. Dealing with a crazy maker can take a toll on your mental and emotional well-being, so it’s essential to take care of yourself.
Reclaiming Your Power
Recognizing and handling a relationship with a crazy maker can be challenging, but it’s a crucial step towards reclaiming your emotional well-being and preserving your sanity. Covert emotional abuse may not always be visible to others, but it is identifiable, and you have the power to address it.
Trust your instincts, seek professional help if needed, and remember that your emotional health matters. You don’t have to endure a relationship that makes you feel crazy – there are steps you can take to regain control and find peace.
About Dr. Hawkins:
The internet is inundated with hyperbole and misinformation about narcissism, leaving many people confused and hopeless. Get the facts on narcissism and emotional abuse from someone who has been researching, writing about and treating narcissism and emotional abuse for over a decade.
Dr. Hawkins is a best-selling author and clinical psychologist with over three decades of experience helping people break unhealthy patterns and build healthier relationships.
He is the founder and director of the Marriage Recovery Center and the Emotional Abuse Institute which offers education, training and counseling for people who want to break free of, and heal from, emotional abuse. Whether the perpetrator of the abuse is your spouse, partner, parent, boss, friend or family member, we offer practical advice for anyone trapped in a toxic, destructive relationship.
In addition to narcissism & emotional abuse, you’ll learn about the lesser known forms of abuse, including covert abuse, reactive abuse, spiritual abuse, secondary abuse, relationship trauma and much more