How many of us have said at one time or another, “I’m so DONE” or “I am so FED UP!” This is a clear signal that something is not working in your life and you are in need of change in your relationship. But how do you make your desire for change into a reality? Change doesn’t come about simply because you want it.
You have to take action. In this video, Dr. Hawkins gives you 3 steps to create change in your relationship that will help you take the next step when you are feeling fed up with a situation or a person in your life.
3 Steps to Create Change In Your Relationship
Are You Fed Up and Needing Change?
Are you in a relationship that’s left you feeling fed up and in desperate need of change? Have you reached a point where you can’t continue down the same path and expect things to magically improve?
If so, you’re not alone, and there’s both good news and bad news for you. In this article, we’ll explore three essential steps to create meaningful change in your relationship and transform it into a healthier and more fulfilling partnership.
The Good and the Bad News
The bad news is that simply being fed up with your relationship won’t bring about the changes you desire. Feeling frustrated, hurt, or disillusioned is a natural response to ongoing issues, but it alone won’t make things better. The good news, however, is that change is possible, and it begins with a deliberate and strategic approach to addressing your concerns.
Dr. David Hawkins, the director of the Marriage Recovery Center and the Emotional Abuse Institute, has extensive experience in dealing with relationships in need of transformation. He emphasizes the importance of taking specific steps to make change a reality in your partnership.
Step 1: Clarity Is Key
The first crucial step in creating change in your relationship is gaining clarity about what needs to change. While this may seem simple, it’s often more challenging than it appears. Take the time to reflect on your concerns and pinpoint exactly what is causing the dissatisfaction in your relationship.
For example, do you need your partner to communicate with you in a more respectful manner? What does respectful communication look like to you? Do you require your partner to actively listen to your perspective and validate your feelings instead of dismissing them? Being crystal clear about your needs is the foundation upon which change can be built.
Step 2: Make Changes Actionable
Once you have identified what needs to change, the next step is to make these changes actionable. This means transforming your desires into concrete, measurable, and achievable goals. Use the SMART goal framework: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time-bound.
For instance, if you want your partner to manage their emotions better, set specific goals around this. Maybe it’s agreeing on a method to express emotions more calmly or finding healthy outlets for stress. Making changes actionable ensures that you have a clear roadmap for the improvements you seek.
Step 3: Accountability Is Essential
Finally, creating accountability for change is crucial. Change is a process, and it requires ongoing effort and monitoring. Having a system of accountability in place ensures that both you and your partner are committed to making the necessary changes.
Consider involving a trusted third party, like a therapist or counselor, as an accountability partner. They can provide valuable insights, mediate discussions, and hold both parties responsible for their commitments. Accountability can help maintain momentum and keep the focus on the goals you’ve set.
In conclusion, if you find yourself fed up and in need of change in your relationship, know that change is possible with the right approach. Start by gaining clarity about what needs to change, make those changes actionable using SMART goals, and establish a system of accountability.
Remember that creating lasting change takes courage, confidence, and consistency, but with determination and support, you can build a healthier and more satisfying relationship. If you’re struggling with any of these steps, don’t hesitate to seek professional help to guide you on your journey to transformation.
About Dr. Hawkins:
The internet is inundated with hyperbole and misinformation about narcissism, leaving many people confused and hopeless. Get the facts on narcissism and emotional abuse from someone who has been researching, writing about and treating narcissism and emotional abuse for over a decade.
Dr. Hawkins is a best-selling author and clinical psychologist with over three decades of experience helping people break unhealthy patterns and build healthier relationships.
He is the founder and director of the Marriage Recovery Center and the Emotional Abuse Institute which offers education, training and counseling for people who want to break free of, and heal from, emotional abuse. Whether the perpetrator of the abuse is your spouse, partner, parent, boss, friend or family member, we offer practical advice for anyone trapped in a toxic, destructive relationship.
In addition to narcissism & emotional abuse, you’ll learn about the lesser known forms of abuse, including covert abuse, reactive abuse, spiritual abuse, secondary abuse, relationship trauma and much more