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How Much Improvement your Marriage Really Needs

How Much Improvement your Marriage Really Needs?

Are you seeking small improvements in your marriage, or do you need a major overhaul? Or are you perhaps “settling” instead of seeking what you actually want and need? Dr. Hawkins talks about how much improvement your marriage really needs and how to truly assess what you want for your marriage and how to take next steps.

How Much Improvement Your Marriage Really Needs?

Marriage, a sacred bond between two individuals, is a journey filled with ups and downs. As we navigate this path, we often find ourselves pondering the question: “How much change does my marriage really need?” It’s a deceptively simple question that can have profound implications for the health and happiness of your relationship. In this article, we will explore the idea of change within a marriage, the importance of assessing your needs honestly, and seeking appropriate help when required. So, let’s delve into the depths of marital improvement and discover how much change is truly necessary.

The Discrepancy Between Need and Settling

One of the challenges in assessing how much change is needed in a marriage is the discrepancy between what we truly need and what we are willing to settle for. Many couples settle for less than they deserve, compromising their emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being. This discrepancy often leads to dissatisfaction and suffering. The inner yearning for more, for a better, more fulfilling relationship, is the root of this suffering. So, the question remains: How much change do you really need?

The Inventory: Evaluating Your Needs

To determine how much change your marriage truly needs, it’s essential to conduct an inventory. This inventory involves taking a deep, introspective look at your relationship and yourself. Start by asking yourself this fundamental question: Will a little bit of change suffice? If you believe that a few minor adjustments can address your concerns, then a modest level of help may be all that’s necessary.

Seeking a Moderate Amount of Change

If you conclude that a moderate amount of change is required to improve your marriage, then it’s time to seek out appropriate guidance and support. A qualified professional can assist you in evaluating your relationship, identifying the areas that need adjustment, and helping you work through them.

This could involve attending couples therapy, reading self-help books, or joining support groups. The key is to address the issues proactively and with a commitment to change.

Do You Need a Lot of Change?

But what if, upon reflection, you realize that a little or moderate change won’t cut it? What if your marriage requires a substantial overhaul? In this case, it’s crucial to acknowledge your needs and seek a lot of change. Don’t hesitate to reach out to a highly qualified professional who can guide you through the transformation process. Remember, seeking substantial change in your marriage doesn’t indicate failure; it signifies your commitment to a happier and healthier relationship.

The Role of Professional Guidance

Professional help can be a game-changer in determining and implementing the level of change your marriage requires. A qualified therapist or counselor can provide valuable insights, teach effective communication skills, and guide you and your spouse toward a more fulfilling relationship. Their expertise can help you address deep-seated issues and make the necessary changes to improve your marriage.

Honesty Is the Key

In your journey to assess how much change your marriage really needs, honesty is paramount. Be candid with yourself and your spouse about your concerns, expectations, and desires. Open and honest communication is the foundation of any successful marriage. When both partners express their needs and work together to address them, it becomes easier to determine the right level of change and set realistic goals for improvement.


In conclusion, the question of how much improvement your marriage really needs is a complex and deeply personal one. It requires introspection, communication, and the willingness to seek help when necessary. Whether your marriage needs just a little tweak or a substantial overhaul, the key is to be honest with yourself and your partner and take the necessary steps to create a more satisfying and fulfilling relationship.

Remember, settling for less than you deserve can lead to emotional, physical, and spiritual suffering. So, don’t hesitate to evaluate your relationship, assess your needs honestly, and seek the appropriate level of change to make your marriage the best it can be. A happier, healthier, and more loving relationship is within your reach when you approach it with sincerity and commitment.

To learn how we can help, reach out to us at (206) 219-0145 or info@marriagerecoverycenter.com to speak with a Client Care Specialist

Also read: How to Deal with Anger

About Dr. Hawkins:

The internet is inundated with hyperbole and misinformation about narcissism, leaving many people confused and hopeless. Get the facts on narcissism and emotional abuse from someone who has been researching, writing about and treating narcissism and emotional abuse for over a decade.

Dr. Hawkins is a best-selling author and clinical psychologist with over three decades of experience helping people break unhealthy patterns and build healthier relationships.

He is the founder and director of the Marriage Recovery Center and the Emotional Abuse Institute which offers education, training and counseling for people who want to break free of, and heal from, emotional abuse. Whether the perpetrator of the abuse is your spouse, partner, parent, boss, friend or family member, we offer practical advice for anyone trapped in a toxic, destructive relationship.

In addition to narcissism & emotional abuse, you’ll learn about the lesser known forms of abuse, including covert abuse, reactive abuse, spiritual abuse, secondary abuse, relationship trauma and much more.


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