In this video Dr. David Hawkins, Director of The Marriage Recovery Center in Seattle, Washington, shares why do narcissists have inflated egos, how they live with narrow, self-centered, distorted perception. However, they can be treated, but “It takes a breakdown to have a breakthrough.” You can be in Integral and instrumental part of their change process but it requires an intervention.
Why do Narcissists Have Inflated Egos?
Narcissism is a complex personality trait that can range from mild narcissistic tendencies to a full-fledged Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Many individuals wonder why narcissists have such inflated egos and whether there is any hope for change or treatment. In this article, we will explore the reasons behind narcissists’ inflated egos and discuss the potential for their transformation. While there are some challenging aspects to dealing with narcissists, it is essential to approach the topic with reason and understanding.
Narrow Lens: Seeing the World Through Self-Centeredness
One of the key characteristics of narcissists is their self-centeredness, which leads them to see the world through a narrow lens. While it may be tempting to label them as crazy or wild, the truth is that we all perceive the world through our own individual perspectives. However, the problem arises when narcissists’ self-centeredness becomes extreme, inhibiting their ability to empathize with others and consider different viewpoints.
Denial and Crazy-Making
Narcissists often employ denial as a defense mechanism to protect their fragile egos. Denial, which stands for “don’t even notice I am lying to myself,” allows them to disregard their own faults and deflect responsibility onto others. This denial takes various forms, including rewriting history, minimizing their problems, blame-shifting, and projecting their own flaws onto others.
Living with a narcissist can be mentally and emotionally exhausting due to their manipulative tactics. Their denial often creates a “crazy-making” environment, leaving their partners feeling disoriented and confused. This constant gaslighting can make it difficult to maintain a healthy and balanced relationship.
Contrary to popular belief, narcissists can be treated. While it is true that some individuals with narcissistic traits may be resistant to change, there is still hope for those willing to embark on a transformational journey. It is important not to generalize all narcissists as untreatable and hopeless.
Acknowledging that change is possible, it is crucial to understand that it often takes a breakdown to have a breakthrough. Narcissists need to reach a point of self-realization and humility before they can be open to transformation. In many cases, an intervention or some form of external catalyst is necessary to trigger this breakthrough.
The Role of Partners in the Change Process
Partners of narcissists play a vital role in their potential for change. While it might seem counterintuitive, you can be an integral part of the transformation process. However, it requires reaching the end of yourself and recognizing that continuing with the same patterns will yield the same undesirable results.
To facilitate change, an intervention tailored to your specific situation and relationship dynamics is crucial. This intervention should encourage humility and self-reflection in the narcissist. While it may not be easy, providing support and guidance can lead to remarkable transformations.
Understanding why narcissists have inflated egos is essential for anyone dealing with narcissistic individuals in their lives. While it is true that narcissism poses challenges and can be destructive, it is important not to give up hope entirely.
By recognizing the narrow lens through which narcissists see the world, their reliance on denial, the potential for treatment, and the role of partners in the change process, we can approach the issue with reason and a greater understanding. Remember, change often requires a breakdown to have a breakthrough, and with the right support and intervention, transformation is possible.
About Dr. Hawkins:
The internet is inundated with hyperbole and misinformation about narcissism, leaving many people confused and hopeless. Get the facts on narcissism and emotional abuse from someone who has been researching, writing about and treating narcissism and emotional abuse for over a decade.
Dr. Hawkins is a best-selling author and clinical psychologist with over three decades of experience helping people break unhealthy patterns and build healthier relationships.
He is the founder and director of the Marriage Recovery Center and the Emotional Abuse Institute which offers education, training and counseling for people who want to break free of, and heal from, emotional abuse. Whether the perpetrator of the abuse is your spouse, partner, parent, boss, friend or family member, we offer practical advice for anyone trapped in a toxic, destructive relationship.
In addition to narcissism & emotional abuse, you’ll learn about the lesser known forms of abuse, including covert abuse, reactive abuse, spiritual abuse, secondary abuse, relationship trauma and much more.