Summary
- Narcissism isn’t directly mentioned in the Bible, but there are verses that talk about similar behaviors. For example, 2 Timothy 3:1-17, Galatians 5:17-21, and Proverbs 26:21 discuss traits related to narcissism. They also explain the problems that come from these behaviors and give advice on how to deal with them according to the Bible.
- Several of the narcissistic traits mentioned in the Bible include grandiosity, a lack of empathy, a need for admiration, and exploitation of others.
- The Bible does not mention narcissism as a psychological disorder but refers to it as a spiritual problem.
The problem of “self-ism” and relationship conflict has been around for thousands of years – the bible refers to it as people who are prideful, boastful, contentious, and lovers of themselves. Sharmen and John talk about what does the bible say about narcissism and address some of the questions their clients struggle with, like how they can respond to a spouse’s abuse in a way that honors God and what the bible says.
What Does the Bible Say About Narcissism?
In today’s secular world, it can be challenging to navigate the issue of narcissism and understand its spiritual implications. While I am not a biblical expert, I believe it is important to explore how it fits into a spiritual context. This article aims to offer some thoughts on the topic, considering relevant Bible verses and the impact of narcissistic individuals striving to honor God.
Understanding Narcissism
Narcissism, often associated with pride and self-centeredness, has been present throughout history. Proverbs 21:24 and Proverbs 26:21 shed light on the proud, haughty, and insolent behaviors that underlie narcissism. It is crucial to recognize that it stems from the heart and impacts both the mind and how individuals navigate life.
Narcissistic Traits Mentioned in the Bible
Narcissism is not mentioned by name in the Bible; however, several verses describe narcissistic traits, like Arrogance, Envy, and Obsession with Power and Success. The Bible condemns these behaviors and a love of self instead of a love of God.
| Classical Narcissistic Trait | Biblical Behavior/Teaching | Bible Verse |
|---|---|---|
| Grandiosity | Pride and haughtiness are condemned. | Proverbs 16:18: ‘Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.’ |
| Lack of Empathy | The Bible emphasizes compassion and care for others. | Ephesians 4:32: ‘Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other.’ |
| Need for Admiration | Seeking human approval over God’s approval is criticized. | Galatians 1:10: ‘Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God?’ |
| Exploitation of Others | Taking advantage of others is seen as unrighteous and evil. | Proverbs 22:16: ‘Whoever oppresses the poor to increase his own wealth… will come to poverty.’ |
| Sense of Entitlement | Humility and servanthood are encouraged over entitlement. | Mark 10:45: ‘For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve.’ |
| Envy | Envy is described as a destructive and sinful behavior. | Proverbs 14:30: ‘A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.’ |
| Arrogance | Arrogance is warned against, and humility is lifted up as virtuous. | James 4:6: ‘God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.’ |
| Manipulative or Deceptive Behavior | Deception and lying are condemned, with a call for honesty and truthfulness. | Colossians 3:9: ‘Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices.’ |
| Obsessed with Power and Success | The Bible warns against idolizing wealth, power, or success over God. | Matthew 6:24: ‘You cannot serve both God and money.’ |
| Superficial Relationships | Genuine love, not self-serving, is upheld as the ideal in relationships. | 1 Corinthians 13:4-5: ‘Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.’ |
| Resistance to Accountability | The Bible highlights the importance of correction and accountability for growth. | Proverbs 12:1: ‘Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but whoever hates correction is stupid.’ |
| Blame-Shifting | The Bible encourages taking responsibility for one’s sins and seeking forgiveness. | 1 John 1:9: ‘If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins.’ |
| Hypersensitivity to Criticism | Being slow to anger and open to correction is a mark of wisdom. | Proverbs 19:11: ‘A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.’ |
| Self-centeredness | The Bible warns against those who love only themselves | 2 Timothy 3:1-17: ‘…There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves…’ |
| Selfish Ambition | Selfish ambition is referred to as ‘demonic’ | James 3:14-16: ‘But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth.’ |
| Rage and Fury | Fury is a behavior described as useless and associated with pride and arrogance | Proverbs 21:24 “The proud and arrogant person—’Mocker’ is his name—behaves with insolent fury” |
Narcissism as Sin and Foolishness
Narcissism can be viewed as the epitome of sin, as individuals choose to be their own gods, seeking self-worship and control. The book of Proverbs addresses this concept by referring to narcissistic behaviors as foolishness. The fool makes his own rules, scoffs at rebuke, and disregards the harm his actions may cause. By understanding the biblical definition of a fool, we gain insight into narcissistic behavior and its spiritual implications.
Narcissism and Emotional Connection
Narcissism often leads to a lack of emotional connection within relationships. The self-centered nature of narcissism inhibits genuine emotional intimacy, preventing healthy communication and understanding. The biblical command for husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church emphasizes sacrificial love and emotional connection. In contrast, narcissism prioritizes self-interest and control, hindering the development of authentic emotional bonds.
Complementarity and Interdependence
Recognizing and appreciating the differences between individuals is vital in overcoming the challenges posed by narcissism. The unique qualities and perspectives of both partners in a relationship should complement each other. The biblical concept of a “helpmate” extends beyond a supportive role and highlights the interdependent nature of relationships. Each partner’s individuality and needs should be acknowledged and respected, fostering a healthy and balanced connection.
Seeking Change and the Journey of Sanctification
When faced with narcissistic behavior within a marriage, the question arises: “What should be done?” It is essential to consider individual safety and well-being. Confronting the narcissistic behavior and seeking change is crucial, but change takes time. The journey of sanctification, both as individuals and as a couple, requires patience, persistence, and grace. While immediate transformation may not occur, the focus should be on moving in the right direction, fostering growth, and prioritizing healthy connection.
Attachment Disorder and Spiritual Battle
Narcissism can be seen as a manifestation of a broken attachment to God and others. Attachment disorders, caused by sin, can lead to emotional and spiritual isolation. Understanding the battle for healthy attachments and genuine connection is essential. Recognizing our need for a restored relationship with God and embracing the journey of surrender and worship allows us to move toward healing and reconciliation.
Conclusion
While the Bible may not explicitly mention narcissism as a psychological disorder, it provides valuable insights into the nature of pride, selfishness, and unhealthy relationships. It is a spiritual issue, affecting the heart, mind, and connection with God and others.
By understanding biblical principles, acknowledging the significance of emotional connection, embracing complementarity, and seeking growth, individuals can navigate narcissism within the context of honoring God. The journey toward healing and healthy relationships requires patience, grace, and the persistent pursuit of God’s truth.
To learn how we can help, reach out to us at (206) 219-0145 or info@marriagerecoverycenter.com to speak with a Client Care Specialist
Also read: What Drives an Emotionally Abusive Person
About Dr. Hawkins:
The internet is inundated with hyperbole and misinformation about narcissism, leaving many people confused and hopeless. Get the facts on narcissism and emotional abuse from someone who has been researching, writing about and treating narcissism and emotional abuse for over a decade.
Dr. Hawkins is a best-selling author and clinical psychologist with over three decades of experience helping people break unhealthy patterns and build healthier relationships.
He is the founder and director of the Marriage Recovery Center and the Emotional Abuse Institute which offers education, training and counseling for people who want to break free of, and heal from, emotional abuse. Whether the perpetrator of the abuse is your spouse, partner, parent, boss, friend or family member, we offer practical advice for anyone trapped in a toxic, destructive relationship.
In addition to narcissism & emotional abuse, you’ll learn about the lesser known forms of abuse, including covert abuse, reactive abuse, spiritual abuse, secondary abuse, relationship trauma and much more.
