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How to Save Your Marriage

How to Save Your Marriage From Divorce

Dr. David B. Hawkins, Licensed Clinical Psychologist, shares how you can do everything in your power to save your marriage in the face of possible divorce. He notes pitfalls to avoid, the steps you can take and how to save your marriage from divorce.

How to Save Your Marriage From Divorce

Marriages can face difficult times, and the thought of divorce can be devastating. Hearing the words “I don’t love you anymore” or “I’m ready for a divorce” can fill you with panic and despair. However, it is important to remember that divorce is preventable. In this article, we will discuss some essential steps you can take to save your marriage and stop the divorce from happening.

Take a Fearless Relationship Inventory

The first step in saving your marriage is to take an honest and critical look at yourself and your relationship. Engage in a fearless relationship inventory where you assess both the good and the bad aspects of yourself and your behavior within the relationship. Avoid cutting corners or being too easy on yourself. Identify the ways in which you may have contributed to the breakdown of the relationship and be willing to acknowledge your shortcomings.

Seek Professional Help

To effectively work on saving your marriage, it is crucial to seek professional help. Find a psychologist, therapist, or marriage counselor who is willing to roll up their sleeves and fight for your relationship. They can help you examine the underlying issues that have caused the relationship to deteriorate and guide you in finding ways to address them. Professional guidance and support can provide valuable insights and strategies to rebuild trust and create a healthier relationship.

Meet Unmet Needs

Often, one of the reasons for a partner’s desire to leave the marriage is unmet needs. Look closely at what your partner has expressed as their unmet needs and consider how you can begin to address them. By taking small steps and making changes, you can send a powerful message that you are committed to meeting their needs and creating a new and improved relationship. These changes can help rebuild trust and emotional connection.

Provide Corrective Emotional Experiences

Corrective emotional experiences are crucial in saving a marriage. These are experiences in which your partner can see and feel a new version of you—one that is attentive, loving, and supportive. By working on the issues identified in your fearless relationship inventory and actively addressing them, you can create a new dynamic in the relationship.

Over time, your partner will experience you differently, and the resentment that has built up can begin to dissipate. Corrective emotional experiences are essential in healing the rift between you and your mate.

Enlist Support

Facing the challenge of saving your marriage should not be done alone. Seek out the support of family, friends, and your community. Share your struggle and let them know you need their love, care, and understanding. Find a support group or a community at your church that can provide you with encouragement, prayer, and guidance.

However, it is important to ensure that the support you seek is not coercive or manipulative towards your partner. The goal is to have people who can speak positively into their lives and remind them of the value and potential in the relationship.


Divorce may seem like the only option when faced with a struggling marriage, but it is not the answer. By taking a fearless relationship inventory, seeking professional help, meeting unmet needs, providing corrective emotional experiences, and enlisting support, you can save your marriage from divorce. Remember that rebuilding a relationship takes time and effort. Gradually, as you work on yourself and the relationship, you can begin to piece it back together. Many marriages have been changed and saved through these steps, and there is hope for your relationship too.

To learn how we can help, reach out to us at (206) 219-0145 or info@marriagerecoverycenter.com to speak with a Client Care Specialist

Also read: Are Narcissists Bad People?

About Dr. Hawkins:

The internet is inundated with hyperbole and misinformation about narcissism, leaving many people confused and hopeless. Get the facts on narcissism and emotional abuse from someone who has been researching, writing about and treating narcissism and emotional abuse for over a decade.

Dr. Hawkins is a best-selling author and clinical psychologist with over three decades of experience helping people break unhealthy patterns and build healthier relationships.

He is the founder and director of the Marriage Recovery Center and the Emotional Abuse Institute which offers education, training and counseling for people who want to break free of, and heal from, emotional abuse. Whether the perpetrator of the abuse is your spouse, partner, parent, boss, friend or family member, we offer practical advice for anyone trapped in a toxic, destructive relationship.

In addition to narcissism & emotional abuse, you’ll learn about the lesser known forms of abuse, including covert abuse, reactive abuse, spiritual abuse, secondary abuse, relationship trauma and much more.


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