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how can a husband save his marriage

How Can a Husband Save His Marriage?

What do you do when your wife tells you she’s “D.O.N.E.?”  She feels like she’s done all that she can, she’s reached the end of her rope, and she has lost the will to hope for change and to fight for the marriage. Sharmen Kimbrough  shares steps a husband can take to hear his wife’s heart and to enter into a healing process.

How Can a Husband Save His Marriage

Marriages often go through ups and downs, and it’s not uncommon for wives to reach a point of frustration and dissatisfaction. If you find yourself in this situation, where your wife has expressed her discontent and you’re wondering how to save your marriage, it’s crucial to approach the situation with sensitivity, self-reflection, and a genuine desire to change. In this article, we will explore how can a husband save his marriage and foster a path towards healing and restoration.

Avoid Destructive Actions

When your wife is at the point of contemplating the end of the marriage, it’s essential to avoid engaging in destructive behaviors. Acting out of anger, control, or threats will only push her further away. Resist the temptation to make more rules, take away her freedom, or resort to emotional manipulation. Instead, focus on understanding her perspective and finding constructive ways to address the issues at hand.

Don’t Change Her, Change Yourself

One common mistake husbands make when faced with marital challenges is attempting to change their wives. It’s important to remember that you cannot force someone to change their thoughts, feelings, or behaviors. Instead, shift your focus inward and concentrate on changing yourself. Take a hard look in the mirror and be open to self-reflection. Seek counseling to help you gain insights into your own actions and attitudes. Commit to doing the work required to improve yourself as an individual.

Seek Wisdom and Guidance

Seeking wisdom and guidance is a crucial step towards saving your marriage. Recognize that you may not have been doing everything right, and be humble enough to seek advice from professionals, such as marriage counselors. Embrace their insights and recommendations, and commit to implementing the changes they suggest. Remember, seeking wisdom is a sign of prudence, while stubbornly sticking to old patterns will only lead to suffering for both you and your marriage.

Embrace Personal Growth

Saving a marriage requires personal growth and development. Use counseling as an opportunity to embark on a journey of self-discovery and transformation. Take responsibility for your actions, attitudes, and shortcomings. Understand that the only person you can control is yourself. Instead of trying to control your wife or blaming her for the problems in your life, focus on becoming the best version of yourself.

Take Control of Your Character

Marriage is a unique space where your character is exposed and challenged. Use this opportunity to evaluate and improve yourself. Resist the urge to walk away in anger or spite. Defending your rights may seem tempting, but it often leads to missed opportunities for personal growth and positive change. Instead, choose to fight for what is good, right, and true within yourself. By becoming a man of integrity and strength, you create a favorable environment for your wife to consider rejoining the relationship.

Let Go of Control

Attempting to control your wife’s thoughts, actions, or emotions will only lead to failure and further distance between you. Recognize that the only control you have is over yourself. Focus on transforming your own character and attitudes rather than trying to force your wife to be different. By relinquishing control and concentrating on personal growth, you create space for your wife to see positive changes in you and potentially rekindle the desire to work on the marriage.

Seek Support

Navigating the challenges of saving a marriage can be overwhelming, and you don’t have to face it alone. Seek support from friends, family, and professionals who can provide guidance, encouragement, and accountability. Surround yourself with people who have your best interests at heart and are invested in seeing your marriage thrive. Their support can make a significant difference in your journey towards saving your relationship.


When a wife expresses her dissatisfaction and the marriage seems to be on the brink of collapse, husbands must approach the situation with empathy, humility, and a genuine desire for personal growth. By avoiding destructive actions, focusing on self-improvement, seeking wisdom and guidance, and embracing personal change, husbands can create the best possible conditions to reawaken their wives’ hearts and restore their marriage. Remember, the path to saving a marriage starts with transforming yourself, and by doing so, you open the door to a brighter future together.

To learn how we can help, reach out to us at (206) 219-0145 or info@marriagerecoverycenter.com to speak with a Client Care Specialist

Also read: Why is Gaslighting So Dangerous?

About Dr. Hawkins:

The internet is inundated with hyperbole and misinformation about narcissism, leaving many people confused and hopeless. Get the facts on narcissism and emotional abuse from someone who has been researching, writing about and treating narcissism and emotional abuse for over a decade.

Dr. Hawkins is a best-selling author and clinical psychologist with over three decades of experience helping people break unhealthy patterns and build healthier relationships.

He is the founder and director of the Marriage Recovery Center and the Emotional Abuse Institute which offers education, training and counseling for people who want to break free of, and heal from, emotional abuse. Whether the perpetrator of the abuse is your spouse, partner, parent, boss, friend or family member, we offer practical advice for anyone trapped in a toxic, destructive relationship.

In addition to narcissism & emotional abuse, you’ll learn about the lesser known forms of abuse, including covert abuse, reactive abuse, spiritual abuse, secondary abuse, relationship trauma and much more.


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