Leading Authority in Treatment of Narcissism and Emotional Abuse

Narcissist Really Change

Can a Narcissist Really Change?

Dr. David Hawkins revisits the question, “Can a Narcissist Really Change?” He shares some of the research on this topic, as well as new theories that are emerging.

Can a Narcissist Really Change?

Exploring the Potential for Transformation

The question of whether a narcissist can truly change is one that has captivated the minds and hearts of many people, often for deeply personal and emotional reasons. The answer to this question is far from straightforward, as it involves complex layers of human psychology, behavior, and neurobiology. In this article, we will delve into this multifaceted issue and provide you with insights and considerations to help you understand the possibility of change in narcissistic individuals.

Understanding the Complexity

Dr. David Hawkins, the director of the Marriage Recovery Center, is well-versed in dealing with individuals exhibiting narcissistic traits and Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). His work has led him to ponder the potential for transformation in such individuals. While he acknowledges that there is no definitive answer to this question, he offers valuable insights that can help us approach it with a balanced and measured perspective.

The APA’s Perspective: Can Narcissism be Unlearned?

The American Psychological Association (APA) touched upon this question in 1994, suggesting that the possibility of change in narcissists depends on whether narcissism is primarily caused by early childhood damage or if it is a learned behavior pattern. The APA’s statement is intriguing and relevant even today. If narcissism is a learned behavior, there may be hope, albeit fragile, that it can be unlearned.

The Role of Brain Chemistry: A New Frontier

Recent advancements in neuroscience have opened up exciting possibilities for understanding human behavior and the potential for change. We now know that the brain possesses remarkable plasticity. This means that, to a significant extent, we can change patterns of thinking and behavior.

Consider Dr. Hawkins’ personal anecdote about changing his mindset in preparation for Thanksgiving. He recognized the rigidity of his previous approach and decided to adopt a new, open-hearted attitude. By consciously changing his thoughts and behaviors, he experienced a transformation in his emotional response to the event. This story highlights the potential for change when individuals consciously choose to alter their thought patterns and behaviors.

The Power of Conscious Thought: Replacing Old with New

Building on the concept of neuroplasticity, it’s crucial to understand that many of our thoughts and behaviors are unconscious, driven by patterns formed throughout our lives. However, the conscious effort to change these patterns can lead to substantial transformation. When individuals become aware of their behaviors and thought processes, they can actively replace old, potentially damaging patterns with healthier, more adaptive ones.

This raises an important question: If individuals with narcissistic tendencies, or any other psychological issue for that matter, possess the motivation and willingness to change, can they exert control over their thoughts and behaviors and, consequently, change their patterns of interaction?

The Path to Change: Under What Conditions?

While the concept of neuroplasticity and the potential for conscious change provide a glimmer of hope, it’s essential to recognize that change is not guaranteed, especially for individuals with deeply ingrained narcissistic traits. The ability to change depends on various factors, including the individual’s willingness, external support systems, and the severity of their condition.

In our next article, we will explore the specific conditions under which a narcissist might be more likely to undergo meaningful change. It is important to remember that one person’s journey to transformation may differ from another’s. By examining these conditions, we can better understand the boundaries and possibilities surrounding change in narcissistic individuals.

Rethinking Outdated Notions: Opening Our Minds

In light of the emerging research on neuroplasticity and the potential for change, we should challenge outdated notions that certain diagnoses, such as Narcissistic Personality Disorder, are entirely resistant to transformation. While it is not a straightforward process, the acknowledgment of the potential for change offers a ray of hope to those affected by narcissistic individuals and the individuals themselves.

As we continue to explore this topic, it’s important to maintain a balanced and compassionate perspective. While change is possible, it is not easy and does not occur overnight. Nevertheless, a willingness to adapt, explore new patterns of thought and behavior, and seek support can pave the way for transformation in those with narcissistic traits.

In conclusion, the question of whether a narcissist can truly change is a complex one. It involves a combination of factors, including conscious effort, neuroplasticity, external support systems, and individual willingness. While change is not guaranteed, the possibility is worth considering.

To learn how we can help, reach out to us at (206) 219-0145 or info@marriagerecoverycenter.com to speak with a Client Care Specialist

Also read: What to do if you’ve been Labeled a Narcissist or an Abuser

About Dr. Hawkins:

The internet is inundated with hyperbole and misinformation about narcissism, leaving many people confused and hopeless. Get the facts on narcissism and emotional abuse from someone who has been researching, writing about and treating narcissism and emotional abuse for over a decade.

Dr. Hawkins is a best-selling author and clinical psychologist with over three decades of experience helping people break unhealthy patterns and build healthier relationships.

He is the founder and director of the Marriage Recovery Center and the Emotional Abuse Institute which offers education, training and counseling for people who want to break free of, and heal from, emotional abuse. Whether the perpetrator of the abuse is your spouse, partner, parent, boss, friend or family member, we offer practical advice for anyone trapped in a toxic, destructive relationship.

In addition to narcissism & emotional abuse, you’ll learn about the lesser known forms of abuse, including covert abuse, reactive abuse, spiritual abuse, secondary abuse, relationship trauma and much more.


Sign up our newsletter to get updated information, promo or insight for free.

Latest Post


Need Help?
Get The Support You Need From One Of Our Therapists
hope for your relationship

Free eBook Reveals the Keys to

Hope and Healing for Your Relationship

Learn what it takes to heal old wounds and experience real change from the inside out.

This free eBook will help you:

  • Heal past wounds
  • Repair broken connections
  • Understand and communicate your needs
  • Forge a new path of hope and possibility

Experience a transformative shift in your relationship.

Download your free copy today.