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Why Narcissists Always Put You Down

Why Narcissists Always Put You Down?

In the intricate realm of relationships, the prevalence of narcissism and emotional abuse has become a growing concern. Dr. David Hawkins, the director of the Marriage Recovery Center and the Emotional Abuse Institute, sheds light on the detrimental effects of dismissive behavior in relationships. This article explores the insidious nature of narcissism, specifically focusing on why narcissists always put you down and the toll it takes on those who endure such treatment.

The Pervasive Attitude of Superiority

Dr. Hawkins emphasizes that narcissists often exude an attitude of superiority that permeates every aspect of their lives. Whether intentional or not, the dismissive nature of narcissists can be profoundly hurtful, leaving individuals feeling unimportant, unvalued, and ultimately dismissed. This constant disregard can be particularly challenging when dealing with bosses, partners, or friends whose worlds revolve solely around themselves.

Unveiling the Ways of Dismissiveness

Dismissiveness, as Dr. Hawkins explains, manifests in various ways, each more damaging than the last. One prominent sign is the lack of interest in the other person’s life. Narcissists may claim to care, yet they rarely ask about the well-being or experiences of those around them. This lack of curiosity treats individuals as if they are invisible, voiceless, and powerless, perpetuating emotional pain.

Additionally, dismissiveness may take the form of domination, where narcissists impose their will, opinions, and power onto others. This could involve foisting their aggression and insisting on doing things their way, disregarding alternative perspectives. The result is a dynamic where one person’s opinions seemingly don’t matter, and a sense of powerlessness prevails.

The Temptation to Shrink Back

For those in relationships with dismissive individuals, the temptation to shrink back and become smaller is ever-present. Individuals may find themselves questioning the value of the relationship, especially when facing repeated dismissals. This challenge becomes more complex when the dismissive person is a boss, a family member, or a close friend, making it difficult to simply walk away.

Responding to Dismissiveness: Steps to Recovery

Dr. Hawkins provides a roadmap for responding to dismissive behavior, offering practical steps for individuals seeking to reclaim their sense of value and autonomy within the relationship.

  1. Self-Validation: The First Step to Empowerment To counteract the impact of dismissiveness, individuals must begin with self-validation. Recognizing and internalizing their own worth is crucial. Change starts with a personal conviction that one’s opinions, thoughts, and feelings are valuable and deserve to be heard.
  2. Make Your Expectations Clear: Setting Boundaries A crucial step in navigating relationships with narcissists is to make expectations clear. This involves expressing the expectation of being heard, cared for, and respected. By clearly communicating these expectations, individuals set the stage for a deeper understanding of their needs within the relationship.
  3. Confront Dismissiveness Head-On: Communication is Key Dr. Hawkins stresses the importance of confronting dismissive behavior directly. Whether expressing feelings of disregard when interrupted or overlooked, individuals should communicate their dissatisfaction. This step requires courage and assertiveness to address the dismissive party and assert the need for acknowledgment and respect.
  4. Bring About Natural Consequences: Upholding Boundaries The final step involves implementing natural consequences based on the dismissive behavior. This could include refusing social engagements, expressing discomfort with the current dynamics, or reconsidering one’s role in a professional or personal relationship. Enforcing boundaries is essential for maintaining a healthy sense of self.

Conclusion: Why Narcissists Always Put You Down?

In conclusion, understanding why narcissists consistently put others down sheds light on the pervasive impact of dismissiveness. Dr. Hawkins provides a framework for individuals to navigate these challenging relationships by empowering themselves through self-validation, setting clear expectations, confronting dismissive behavior, and enforcing natural consequences. By taking these steps, individuals can reclaim their power, build resilience, and foster healthier, more balanced relationships.

To learn how we can help, reach out to us at (206) 219-0145 or info@marriagerecoverycenter.com to speak with a Client Care Specialist

Also read: Do Narcissists Have Feelings?

About Dr. Hawkins:

The internet is inundated with hyperbole and misinformation about narcissism, leaving many people confused and hopeless. Get the facts on narcissism and emotional abuse from someone who has been researching, writing about and treating narcissism and emotional abuse for over a decade.

Dr. Hawkins is a best-selling author and clinical psychologist with over three decades of experience helping people break unhealthy patterns and build healthier relationships.

He is the founder and director of the Marriage Recovery Center and the Emotional Abuse Institute which offers education, training and counseling for people who want to break free of, and heal from, emotional abuse. Whether the perpetrator of the abuse is your spouse, partner, parent, boss, friend or family member, we offer practical advice for anyone trapped in a toxic, destructive relationship.

In addition to narcissism & emotional abuse, you’ll learn about the lesser known forms of abuse, including covert abuse, reactive abuse, spiritual abuse, secondary abuse, relationship trauma and much more.


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