In the realm of psychology, narcissistic individuals often display a peculiar characteristic—they always have to be right. Dr. David Hawkins analyzes this phenomenon and the reasons why narcissists always have to be right. He explores the psychological underpinnings of narcissism and offers strategies for individuals dealing with those who insist on being perpetually correct.
The Black and White World of Narcissism
Narcissistic individuals inhabit a black and white world where there is only one correct way to think and act—their way. Dr. Hawkins notes that this worldview fosters an attitude of self-righteousness. In their minds, if they are always right, everyone else must be wrong. This rigid perspective limits their ability to entertain differing points of view, creating a narrow lane through which they navigate life.
The Art of Always Being Right
One hallmark of narcissistic behavior is an incessant need to argue and prove one’s correctness. These individuals are quick to challenge even the smallest details, diverting discussions into a contest of who is right and who is wrong. This behavior, rooted in insecurity, prevents them from acknowledging the validity of others’ perspectives.
Responding to the Narcissistic Assault
Dealing with someone who constantly invalidates your thoughts and feelings can be challenging, but Dr. Hawkins provides valuable insights on how to respond effectively.
Step 1: Hold Your Own Space
The first step involves maintaining a firm stance on your thoughts, opinions, and feelings. It’s crucial to validate your perspective internally, reminding yourself that you have the right to think and feel the way you do. External validation, though difficult when faced with a narcissistic individual, can be empowering and help establish boundaries.
Step 2: Affirm Your Perspective
Affirming your perspective internally is not enough. Dr. Hawkins encourages individuals to express their thoughts and feelings out loud, especially if it is safe to do so. By vocalizing your beliefs, you reinforce your right to an opinion and signal to the narcissist that you won’t be easily swayed.
Step 3: Seek External Validation
Engaging with friends or trusted individuals can be a powerful way to counteract the constant assault on your thoughts and feelings. Share your opinions and feelings with those who can offer support and validation, creating a network that bolsters your confidence.
Step 4: Embrace Self-Validation through Journaling
Dr. Hawkins advocates for the therapeutic practice of journaling. Writing down your thoughts, feelings, and desires serves as a form of self-therapy. This process allows you to articulate and affirm your identity, reinforcing the belief that your perspective is valid and valuable.
Living Large in the Face of Narcissism
In conclusion, Dr. Hawkins advises individuals not to succumb to the shrinking effect that narcissistic behavior can induce. Living life out loud and staying true to your beliefs is crucial for maintaining a sense of self. While it may be challenging, establishing and affirming your perspective is essential in navigating relationships with those who insist on always being right.
Why narcissists always have to be right?
Understanding the dynamics of narcissism and the compulsion to always be right provides a foundation for individuals to navigate these challenging relationships. By implementing these strategies, individuals can reclaim their agency, affirm their perspectives, and foster resilience in the face of the relentless need for self-righteousness displayed by narcissistic individuals.
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Also read: What are the Effects of Narcissistic Abuse?
About Dr. Hawkins:
The internet is inundated with hyperbole and misinformation about narcissism, leaving many people confused and hopeless. Get the facts on narcissism and emotional abuse from someone who has been researching, writing about and treating narcissism and emotional abuse for over a decade.
Dr. Hawkins is a best-selling author and clinical psychologist with over three decades of experience helping people break unhealthy patterns and build healthier relationships.
He is the founder and director of the Marriage Recovery Center and the Emotional Abuse Institute which offers education, training and counseling for people who want to break free of, and heal from, emotional abuse. Whether the perpetrator of the abuse is your spouse, partner, parent, boss, friend or family member, we offer practical advice for anyone trapped in a toxic, destructive relationship.
In addition to narcissism & emotional abuse, you’ll learn about the lesser known forms of abuse, including covert abuse, reactive abuse, spiritual abuse, secondary abuse, relationship trauma and much more.
