Leading Authority in Treatment of Narcissism and Emotional Abuse

victims of emotional abuse

Why Victims of Emotional Abuse Feel Anger?

Dr David B Hawkins, Licensed Clinical Psychologist speaks about the normal anger that victims experience as a result of emotional abuse! Victims of Narcissistic Abuse will experience righteous anger and this may be explosive at times, and this is normal!

Why Victims of Emotional Abuse Feel Anger

Emotional abuse can have a profound impact on its victims, leaving them feeling a range of intense emotions. While much attention has been given to the rage of narcissists, it is equally important to understand and acknowledge the anger experienced by the victims of emotional abuse. When individuals are repeatedly subjected to gaslighting, blame-shifting, manipulation, and other forms of psychological harm, it is only natural that anger will eventually build up within them. In this article, we delve into why victims of emotional abuse feel anger and emphasize the importance of providing support and understanding to those who have endured such traumatic experiences.

The Accumulation of Abuse

Emotional abuse often takes place over an extended period, involving a series of manipulative tactics and harmful behaviors. Victims endure a relentless onslaught of gaslighting, in which their perceptions of reality are distorted, and their experiences are undermined. Their words are twisted, and they are made to feel responsible for the abuser’s actions. Additionally, their concerns are repeatedly minimized, and they are blamed for the problems in the relationship. Over time, the accumulation of these abusive experiences becomes overwhelming and unbearable.

The Breaking Point

When victims of emotional abuse reach their breaking point, it should come as no surprise that their anger erupts. The constant emotional manipulation and invalidation create a boiling point where the emotions can no longer be contained. It is essential to understand that this outburst of anger is a normal response to an abnormal situation. Rather than shaming or blaming the victim, it is crucial to recognize the deep pain and frustration that have built up within them.

The Need to be Heard

Victims of emotional abuse often struggle to express their emotions calmly and clearly. While healthy communication is encouraged in most situations, the severe emotional harm caused by abuse makes it nearly impossible to maintain composure. The emotions within these individuals are akin to a shaken can of soda, vigorously agitated and ready to explode. This explosion represents a desperate plea for acknowledgment and validation, a cry to be heard amidst the turmoil.

Seeking Safety and Healing

It is of utmost importance for victims of emotional abuse to prioritize their safety and well-being. The eruption of anger serves as a signal that something is profoundly wrong and that their boundaries have been violated. No one should endure such treatment, as it is a clear departure from the way we ought to be treated. Recognizing the ungodly harm inflicted upon them, victims need to find a safe and healthy environment where they can begin their healing journey.

Understanding and Support

To truly support victims of emotional abuse, we must strive to understand their experiences and validate their emotions. It is essential to create a space where they feel safe to express their anger, fear, and pain without judgment or dismissal. By offering empathy and compassion, we can help them reclaim their voice and start the healing process. It is crucial for victims to reach out for assistance from professionals and support networks that specialize in the recovery from emotional abuse.


Victims of emotional abuse have every right to feel anger due to the profound harm they have endured. The accumulation of abusive behaviors and manipulation leaves them in a state of emotional turmoil. Acknowledging and understanding their anger is crucial to support their healing process. It is our responsibility as a society to break the silence surrounding emotional abuse, offer compassion to survivors, and work towards preventing such harm from occurring in the first place.

To learn how we can help, reach out to us at (206) 219-0145 or info@marriagerecoverycenter.com to speak with a Client Care Specialist

Also read: Assessing the Narcissist: A Simple Test

About Dr. Hawkins:

The internet is inundated with hyperbole and misinformation about narcissism, leaving many people confused and hopeless. Get the facts on narcissism and emotional abuse from someone who has been researching, writing about and treating narcissism and emotional abuse for over a decade.

Dr. Hawkins is a best-selling author and clinical psychologist with over three decades of experience helping people break unhealthy patterns and build healthier relationships.

He is the founder and director of the Marriage Recovery Center and the Emotional Abuse Institute which offers education, training and counseling for people who want to break free of, and heal from, emotional abuse. Whether the perpetrator of the abuse is your spouse, partner, parent, boss, friend or family member, we offer practical advice for anyone trapped in a toxic, destructive relationship.

In addition to narcissism & emotional abuse, you’ll learn about the lesser known forms of abuse, including covert abuse, reactive abuse, spiritual abuse, secondary abuse, relationship trauma and much more.


Sign up our newsletter to get updated information, promo or insight for free.

Latest Post


Need Help?
Get The Support You Need From One Of Our Therapists