Find out what is driving these unhealthy behaviors and what to do if you find yourself in a relationship with an obsessive compulsive narcissist
You shouldn’t be too surprised to learn that obsessive compulsives and narcissists have a lot in common – they both think things should be done a certain way – their way. They also try to control everything you do, leaving no room for your preferences and individuality. When these two personalities come together in one person, it creates an oppressive situation for those who are in a relationship with them. .
The Obsessive Compulsive Narcissist
The Nightmare of the Obsessive Compulsive Narcissist
Being in a relationship with a narcissist can be an emotionally draining experience. Dealing with someone who is self-centered, emotionally immature, and preoccupied with their own success and grandeur can take a toll on your mental and emotional well-being. But what if there was something worse than your typical narcissist? Enter the obsessive-compulsive narcissist – a unique breed of narcissist that combines the traits of emotional immaturity with an overwhelming need for power, control, and order.
Understanding the Obsessive Compulsive Narcissist
The term “obsessive-compulsive narcissist” is not just a label; it’s a description of a person who has taken narcissism to a whole new level. These individuals not only exhibit the classic traits of narcissism but also layer on a sense of power, control, demandingness, self-righteousness, and a rigid moral code to life. Let’s delve into what makes them particularly challenging to deal with:
The Imposition of Their Worldview
Obsessive-compulsive narcissists are relentless in their pursuit of order and their way of doing things. They don’t just have preferences; they have demands. They insist that the world conforms to their vision of right and wrong, good and bad. You’ll often hear phrases like “you should” or “it should be this way” from them, and it can feel incredibly suffocating.
The Erosion of Your Individuality
When these individuals foist their preferences upon you, it can be suffocating. They encroach upon your boundaries and diminish your sense of self. Your individuality becomes secondary to their need for control and order. You find yourself feeling smaller, less significant, and deeply devalued.
The Role of Anxiety
At times, this obsession with control and order is born out of their own internal anxiety. They genuinely believe that things must be a certain way to alleviate their anxiety, and they may not see anything wrong with their demands. It’s a way of life for them, and they expect everyone to fall in line.
Recognizing the Signs and Taking Action
If you find yourself in a relationship with an obsessive-compulsive narcissist, it’s crucial to recognize the signs and take action. Here’s what you can do:
1. Step Back and Evaluate: Take a step back from the relationship and evaluate how you feel. Is your individuality celebrated, or have you started making too many compromises? Are you adapting, coping, and accommodating to the point where you’ve lost your sense of self?
2. Journal and Reflect: Keep a journal to document your feelings, thoughts, and experiences in the relationship. Reflect on whether you’re living a life that aligns with your values and desires.
3. Acknowledge Your Situation: There’s power in acknowledging your reality. Admit to yourself that you might be in a toxic relationship. Recognize that you deserve better.
4. Seek Help: Reach out for professional help, such as therapy or counseling. Dealing with an obsessive-compulsive narcissist can be emotionally draining, and having a trained expert by your side can provide guidance and support.
Reclaiming Your Individuality
The obsessive-compulsive narcissist is a formidable challenge in any relationship. Their unrelenting need for control and order can leave you feeling suffocated and powerless. However, by recognizing the signs and taking proactive steps to evaluate your situation, you can begin the journey towards reclaiming your individuality and finding a healthier path forward. Remember, you deserve a relationship where your uniqueness is celebrated, and your voice is heard.
To learn how we can help, reach out to us at (206) 219-0145 or info@marriagerecoverycenter.com to speak with a Client Care Specialist
Also read: When Should I Leave a Relationship?
About Dr. Hawkins:
The internet is inundated with hyperbole and misinformation about narcissism, leaving many people confused and hopeless. Get the facts on narcissism and emotional abuse from someone who has been researching, writing about and treating narcissism and emotional abuse for over a decade.
Dr. Hawkins is a best-selling author and clinical psychologist with over three decades of experience helping people break unhealthy patterns and build healthier relationships.
He is the founder and director of the Marriage Recovery Center and the Emotional Abuse Institute which offers education, training and counseling for people who want to break free of, and heal from, emotional abuse. Whether the perpetrator of the abuse is your spouse, partner, parent, boss, friend or family member, we offer practical advice for anyone trapped in a toxic, destructive relationship.
In addition to narcissism & emotional abuse, you’ll learn about the lesser known forms of abuse, including covert abuse, reactive abuse, spiritual abuse, secondary abuse, relationship trauma and much more.
