Is it possible to heal together with your spouse when your marriage is marked by extremely unhealthy dynamics? Dr. Hawkins and Sharmen Kimbrough discuss the importance of personal healing before seeking to restore a broken marriage.
The Importance of Personal Healing in Restoring a Broken Marriage
Thank you for joining us once again as we delve into the intricate dynamics of healing within marriages. Dr. David Hawkins and Sharmen Kimbrough have a wealth of knowledge and experience in the field of relationship counseling, and in this article, we will explore the critical importance of personal healing in restoring a broken marriage.
The Common Mistake: Believing Communication Is the Cure
One common mistake that both couples and therapists often make is assuming that the problems in a marriage can be resolved simply through improved communication and conflict resolution skills. While these are undoubtedly vital tools, there are situations where more profound issues need to be addressed. In cases of narcissistic abuse, emotional abuse, and character pathology, merely focusing on communication skills is insufficient. True healing involves a deeper, more individualized journey.
The Redeemed Program for Women
Dr. David Hawkins and Sharmen Kimbrough emphasize that the path to healing a marriage begins with individual healing. One of the programs they offer, the “Redeemed Program for Women,” is designed to facilitate personal growth and self-healing. This program serves as a corollary to the “Core Program” for men. Its core principles are grounded in the idea that one cannot love well within a marriage unless they are emotionally healthy and whole themselves.
The Journey of Healing
In the Redeemed Program, women are encouraged to embark on a personal journey of healing that ultimately contributes to the restoration of the marriage. Let’s break down some of the key components of this program:
1. Self-Exploration and Core Identity
The journey begins by looking inward and understanding one’s core identity. The program helps participants explore who they are and what they want, which is fundamental to operating from a place of strength within a relationship. Knowing oneself provides clarity on where boundaries should be set.
2. Boundaries: A Foundation for Healthy Relationships
Boundaries are integral to maintaining a healthy relationship. The program demystifies the concept of boundaries, emphasizing that we all use them in our relationships. It’s about understanding how to communicate and enforce these boundaries effectively. Healthy boundaries protect you from being mistreated and guide your partner on how to respect your needs.
3. Managing Anger and Resentment
Anger, when managed appropriately, can be a positive force for change. The Redeemed Program delves into strategies for using anger as motivation while preventing it from leading to destructive behaviors. Participants learn how to harness anger to stand up for what is right and just.
4. The True Meaning of Forgiveness
Forgiveness is often misunderstood, and this program offers a deep exploration of what it truly means to forgive. It involves letting go of resentment and making space for personal growth while allowing your spouse to do the same. It’s about holding yourself accountable and giving your partner the same opportunity to heal.
5. Inviting Your Partner into Their Healing Journey
Part of healing individually is learning how to invite your spouse to embark on their healing journey. This means not taking responsibility for their growth but instead creating an environment where they can grow and heal on their terms.
The Power of Group Dynamics
One powerful aspect of programs like the Redeemed Program is the group dynamic. Participants often discover that they are not alone in their struggles. The group setting allows individuals to share their stories and offer support to one another. This shared experience helps to dispel feelings of isolation and empowers each participant to work on their healing journey with a sense of community.
A Guideline for Those in Emotionally Abusive Situations
For individuals who suspect they are in emotionally abusive relationships, Sharmen Kimbrough offers a valuable guideline: “If it feels crazy, it probably is crazy.” Recognizing the signs of emotional abuse is the first step towards seeking help.
The Importance of Seeking Help
If you are contemplating seeking counseling or participating in a healing program, Sharmen highlights the transformative power of group therapy. The group dynamic can provide a unique perspective and a sense of solidarity. It allows individuals to realize that their experiences are shared and that there is hope for healing and change.
In summary, the road to restoring a broken marriage often begins with personal healing. The Redeemed Program for Women, along with its male counterpart, the Core Program, emphasizes the importance of individual growth and self-awareness. Healing together is possible, but it requires a commitment to personal healing first.
Remember, it’s okay to seek help and support. If you find yourself in an emotionally abusive relationship or a struggling marriage, you don’t have to face it alone. Group therapy and healing programs offer a safe space for you to embark on your journey of self-discovery, healing, and ultimately, the restoration of your marriage.
The power of community, shared experiences, and the guidance of professionals can be transformative in rebuilding not only your relationship but also your own sense of self. So, don’t be isolated – take the first step towards healing and rediscovering the love and happiness that your marriage can hold.
Also read: Is Emotional Abuse Contagious?
About Dr. Hawkins:
The internet is inundated with hyperbole and misinformation about narcissism, leaving many people confused and hopeless. Get the facts on narcissism and emotional abuse from someone who has been researching, writing about and treating narcissism and emotional abuse for over a decade.
Dr. Hawkins is a best-selling author and clinical psychologist with over three decades of experience helping people break unhealthy patterns and build healthier relationships.
He is the founder and director of the Marriage Recovery Center and the Emotional Abuse Institute which offers education, training and counseling for people who want to break free of, and heal from, emotional abuse. Whether the perpetrator of the abuse is your spouse, partner, parent, boss, friend or family member, we offer practical advice for anyone trapped in a toxic, destructive relationship.
In addition to narcissism & emotional abuse, you’ll learn about the lesser known forms of abuse, including covert abuse, reactive abuse, spiritual abuse, secondary abuse, relationship trauma and much more.