Dr. Hawkins is joined by licensed mental health counselor Jonathan Glover, in the first of a new series in which he shares his reactions to different relationship scenarios that people have shared on platforms like Reddit or Quora. In this episode, Dr. Hawkins and Jonathan share their reaction to a Reddit post from a man who talks about his experience with emotional abuse from his ex, a woman, who constantly provoked, taunted, belittled, and laughed at his insecurities and pain points. Hear what Dr. Hawkins and Jonathan have to say about this situation and what others can learn from this man’s experience.
Where to Listen:
Today we’re speaking with Annette Oltmans, Founder and CEO of The Mend Project. Annette’s personal experience with long-term emotional abuse in her own marriage and her extensive recovery journey is what ignited her passion to start The M3ND Project. While seeking the help of professionals and responders, Annette experienced Double Abuse® in the form of spiritual and institutional abuse when her cries for help were ignored or brushed away, or worse yet, she herself was blamed for the situation. Join us for an eye-opening discussion around the responsibility of first responders, the incredible damage caused by double abuse or secondary abuse, and the work that The M3ND Project is doing to train professionals to recognize the red flags of covert emotional abuse.
Does your spouse say things like, “I’m sorry if I hurt you. I didn’t intend to hurt you. I said I’m sorry, why can’t you get over it?” These are all examples of a bad apology. While narcissists are certainly guilty of this, it happens in all relationships. Unfortunately, society has reduced the concept of an apology to a mere formality of saying “I’m sorry” so that the person who has been wronged can get over it and move on. In this episode, Dr. Hawkins and Sharmen Kimbrough lay out what a true apology looks like, as well as how to work together towards a collaborative solution when you hit a bump in the road.
Something we see often in our practice is when a person has been subjected to ongoing emotional abuse for years, they themselves begin to exhibit abusive behaviors towards the perpetrator. This causes the perpetrator to feel even more justified in their behaviors with their “you do it too” and “I’m not the only one” attitude. In this video, Dr. Hawkins and Dr. Hunt discuss this phenomenon called reactive abuse and what to do if you find yourself becoming more and more reactive, a person you no longer recognize.
Is he a chauvinist or a narcissist, or both? Dr. David Hawkins and Dr. John Hudson discuss the differences and similarities between chauvinism and narcissism, and why people often mistake one for the other – both are grounded in a feeling of superiority and entitlement. Find out why they are equally dangerous and destructive to relationships, and how they approach treating these characterological issues in their practice.
In this episode Dr. Hawkins and Sharmen drop a truth bomb, and that is that narcissists and co-dependents, or victims of emotional abuse, actually have a lot in common – they both act out or respond in unhealthy ways in an attempt to manage and control the world around them. The bottom line is, they both lack a healthy sense of self and are living “in hiding” as a form of self-protection. Listen in as they talk about the chaos and dysfunction that ensues when we remain stuck in our learned responses to trauma, and the power that we all have to choose to respond differently.
Almost all couples fight about money. It is, after all, among the top four reasons couples get divorced. So, how do you know when your marital problems are “just” money problems, or when it’s one of the power and control tactics characteristic of emotional abuse. Dr. Hawkins and Lee Kaufman discuss what financial abuse is, what drives a person to those kinds of behaviors, and some words of advice for victims of financial abuse.
In this episode, Dr. Hawkins and Sharmen Kimbrough discuss some of the ways you can work toward healing your relationship, as well as what to do when you’ve tried a thousand ways to connect with your partner and there is “nothing more to be done.”