Have you settled for a relationship that is “less than” what you truly deserve and desire? Have you tried getting some help but have given up because whatever you tried didn’t work? Are you simply tolerating the emotional pain and chaos because you don’t know what else to do?
Dr. Hawkins talks about how to save your marriage with an intervention. If you are ready to stop coping with your pain and do something about it, watch the video to find out what is needed to disrupt your current situation and create real change.
How to Save Your Marriage With An Intervention
Marriage is often portrayed as a bed of roses, but for many couples, it can turn into a thorny path filled with pain and emotional turmoil. Dr. David Hawkins, director of the Marriage Recovery Center, specializes in helping couples facing narcissistic and emotional abuse and highly conflicted marriages. In this article, we will explore how couples often tolerate extensive pain in their relationships, the role of denial in perpetuating this pain, and the concept of intervention as a potential solution to heal broken marriages.
Tolerating Pain: The Denial Dilemma
Dr. Hawkins begins by addressing a troubling reality – couples often tolerate a significant amount of emotional pain within their relationships. This pain may manifest in various forms, from emotional abuse to narcissistic behavior, and it can be endured for a multitude of reasons. The key factor contributing to this tolerance, according to Dr. Hawkins, is denial.
Both partners, the perpetrator, and the victim, tend to engage in denial. The perpetrator often denies their actions, deflects blame, rationalizes, and justifies their behavior. On the other hand, the victim may also be in denial, hoping for change but enduring the pain nonetheless. This cycle of denial perpetuates the suffering within the relationship.
Understanding Emotional Abuse
Dr. Hawkins labels emotional abuse as a “responsibility deficit disorder.” This term implies that emotional abusers often fail to take responsibility for their actions, refusing to acknowledge their role in perpetuating pain within the relationship. This lack of accountability is a significant hurdle to healing.
Victims, too, play a role in this dynamic by tolerating the abuse. They may do so due to a desire for change, low self-esteem, or fear of the consequences of confronting their partner. This complex interplay of denial and tolerance creates a breeding ground for unhealthy relationships.
The Quest for Intervention
The path to healing, according to Dr. Hawkins, lies in intervention. He emphasizes that couples must assess the level of change required to salvage their marriage. Different relationships require varying degrees of intervention, and recognizing this is crucial.
Levels of Intervention
Dr. Hawkins draws parallels between mental health intervention and medical intervention. Just as there are over-the-counter remedies, primary care consultations, and intensive hospital care in the medical field, there are different levels of intervention for troubled marriages.
- Self-Help and Resources: Like over-the-counter medicine, some couples may benefit from self-help resources such as books, online courses, or relationship workshops. These can provide valuable insights and tools to address minor issues.
- Professional Guidance: Similar to a primary care physician visit, consulting with a qualified therapist or counselor can be instrumental in addressing moderate relationship challenges. These professionals can help couples navigate their issues and work toward resolution.
- Marriage Intensives: In cases where a significant amount of change is required, marriage intensives or extensive counseling sessions may be necessary. These programs are designed to delve deep into complex issues and offer intensive support.
- Inpatient Programs (As a Last Resort): Just as severe medical conditions require hospitalization, severely damaged marriages might necessitate more intensive inpatient programs. These programs offer intensive, structured interventions designed to disrupt unhealthy patterns and promote change.
Tailored Approaches for Healing
For couples dealing with emotionally abusive and highly conflicted marriages, a one-size-fits-all approach simply does not work. Dr. Hawkins recommends starting with a comprehensive marriage evaluation to determine the extent of the issues at hand.
At the Marriage Recovery Center, they employ a tiered approach to intervention, recognizing that both partners may need different levels of support. This approach involves tailored programs for the perpetrator and the victim, addressing their specific needs and facilitating healing.
Conclusion: Seek Help for a Healthier Future
Couples facing highly conflicted marriages and emotional abuse should not simply endure the pain and suffering in silence. Dr. David Hawkins’ insights emphasize the importance of intervention at the appropriate level to break the cycle of denial and facilitate healing.
If you find yourself in such a challenging marriage, consider seeking professional help. Reach out to the Marriage Recovery Center or other qualified therapists who specialize in addressing emotional abuse and high-conflict relationships. There is hope for healing and building a healthier future, but it starts with acknowledging the need for intervention and taking the necessary steps toward change.
Remember, you don’t have to navigate this difficult journey alone. Seeking help is the first step towards saving your marriage and finding the happiness and harmony you deserve.
About Dr. Hawkins:
The internet is inundated with hyperbole and misinformation about narcissism, leaving many people confused and hopeless. Get the facts on narcissism and emotional abuse from someone who has been researching, writing about and treating narcissism and emotional abuse for over a decade.
Dr. Hawkins is a best-selling author and clinical psychologist with over three decades of experience helping people break unhealthy patterns and build healthier relationships.
He is the founder and director of the Marriage Recovery Center and the Emotional Abuse Institute which offers education, training and counseling for people who want to break free of, and heal from, emotional abuse. Whether the perpetrator of the abuse is your spouse, partner, parent, boss, friend or family member, we offer practical advice for anyone trapped in a toxic, destructive relationship.
In addition to narcissism & emotional abuse, you’ll learn about the lesser known forms of abuse, including covert abuse, reactive abuse, spiritual abuse, secondary abuse, relationship trauma and much more.