Dr. David Hawkins will delve into the intricacies of future faking, its implications, why you can never believe a narcissist’s promises and how to navigate relationships tainted by this manipulation tactic. Have you ever found yourself in a relationship with someone who exudes an overly positive attitude, assuring you not to worry, that you can count on them, and that everything will work out just fine?
These promises may seem comforting at first, but what if they never materialize? What if those assurances turn out to be mere illusions, leaving you disappointed and disillusioned? This phenomenon is known as “future faking,” a term coined to describe the deceptive promises of narcissists.
Understanding Future Faking
Future faking is a manipulation tactic commonly employed by narcissists. It involves making promises to fulfill obligations, desires, or needs with no genuine intention of following through. The narcissist’s goal is to manipulate others, alleviate immediate pressure or conflict, and avoid taking responsibility for their actions or lack thereof.
Dr. David Hawkins, Director of the Marriage Recovery Center and the Emotional Abuse Institute, sheds light on the insidious nature of future faking within narcissistic relationships. He emphasizes that when a narcissist assures you with phrases like “You can count on me” or “Trust me,” it’s often a facade hiding their reluctance to commit or fulfill their promises.
Recognizing the Signs
Future faking can be detrimental to one’s emotional well-being and the stability of a relationship. It’s crucial to recognize the signs and acknowledge the truth behind the narcissist’s empty assurances. Dr. Hawkins outlines three key steps to navigate this challenging dynamic effectively:
Step 1: Know the Truth
The first step in dealing with future faking is to confront the truth head-on. Assess the reliability and predictability of the individual making these promises. Look at the data objectively and ask yourself whether they have a history of following through on their commitments. Honesty with oneself is paramount in unraveling the facade of future faking.
Step 2: Confront the Deception
Once you’ve acknowledged the truth, it’s essential to confront the deception. Address the discrepancy between the narcissist’s promises and their actions. Set boundaries and communicate assertively about your observations and concerns. While confronting the narcissist may not alter their behavior, it empowers you to assert your needs and boundaries within the relationship.
Step 3: Insist on Accountability
Insisting on accountability is crucial in dealing with future faking. Rather than passively accepting empty promises, demand clarity and accountability in your interactions. Make explicit agreements with consequences for non-compliance. By holding the narcissist accountable for their actions, you establish boundaries and protect your emotional well-being.
Never Believe A Narcissist’s Promises
Navigating a relationship tainted by future faking requires courage, self-awareness, and assertiveness. By acknowledging the truth, confronting deception, and insisting on accountability, you reclaim control over your emotional landscape. Remember that future faking is a manipulation tactic employed by narcissists to evade responsibility and manipulate others. By staying vigilant and prioritizing your well-being, you can break free from the cycle of empty promises and cultivate healthier relationships built on trust and authenticity.
To learn how we can help, reach out to us at (206) 219-0145 or info@marriagerecoverycenter.com to speak with a Client Care Specialist
Also read: Life With A Narcissist Is a Maze of Confusion?
About Dr. Hawkins:
The internet is inundated with hyperbole and misinformation about narcissism, leaving many people confused and hopeless. Get the facts on narcissism and emotional abuse from someone who has been researching, writing about and treating narcissism and emotional abuse for over a decade.
Dr. Hawkins is a best-selling author and clinical psychologist with over three decades of experience helping people break unhealthy patterns and build healthier relationships.
He is the founder and director of the Marriage Recovery Center and the Emotional Abuse Institute which offers education, training and counseling for people who want to break free of, and heal from, emotional abuse. Whether the perpetrator of the abuse is your spouse, partner, parent, boss, friend or family member, we offer practical advice for anyone trapped in a toxic, destructive relationship.
In addition to narcissism & emotional abuse, you’ll learn about the lesser known forms of abuse, including covert abuse, reactive abuse, spiritual abuse, secondary abuse, relationship trauma and much more.
