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Narcissist's Victims

What is the main problem Narcissist’s Victims Face

Narcissists have an overinflated sense of self-importance. This leads to a lack of empathy for others, which often manifests in abusive behavior. Narcissist’s victims, especially women, typically have one thing in common—they are exhausted. Dr. Hawkins discusses the main problem that women who suffer narcissistic and emotional abuse face. He also offers actionable ways to help preserve your mental and emotional well-being should you find yourself in a similar situation.

What is the main problem Narcissist’s Victims Face?

Narcissistic and emotional abuse can have a profound impact on victims, leading to various challenges and difficulties in their lives. However, amidst the numerous problems that arise from these abusive relationships, there is one issue that stands out as the primary concern. This article delves into the number one problem faced by victims: exhaustion, both emotional and psychological.

The Impact of Emotional Exhaustion

Dr. David Hawkins, the director of the Marriage Recovery Center, specializes in addressing narcissistic and emotional abuse. He highlights that exhaustion is the most common symptom reported by women who are struggling with narcissistic victim syndrome. The emotionally abusive behaviors of narcissistic individuals, such as blame-shifting, rationalization, and playing the victim, drain their partner’s emotional energy. As a result, victims find themselves grappling with a significant decline in their emotional well-being.

Understanding the Dynamics

Dr. Hawkins emphasizes that observing the emotionally abusive behaviors of narcissistic individuals can help shed light on the exhaustion experienced by their victims. These interactions are arduous and challenging, leaving victims emotionally drained and struggling to maintain their equilibrium. The constant manipulation, gaslighting, and psychological warfare employed by narcissists make victims question their sanity and feel as though they are going “crazy.”

The Quest for an Easy Button

In a world of complexities, victims often yearn for simplicity in their interactions with their narcissistic partners. Dr. Hawkins illustrates this desire using the concept of an “easy button.” Victims hope for straightforward resolutions, a willingness to take responsibility, and genuine remorse from the narcissistic individual. Unfortunately, achieving such simplicity is easier said than done.

The Role of Confusion

One of the primary problems stemming from narcissism is confusion. The manipulative tactics employed by narcissists can leave victims second-guessing themselves, their emotions, and their perceptions of reality. Gaslighting, blame-shifting, and justifications create a whirlwind of confusion that further exacerbates emotional exhaustion.

Steps towards Recovery

While navigating the complexities of narcissism is challenging, Dr. Hawkins offers some recommendations to help victims address their emotional exhaustion and regain control over their lives.

  1. Listen to Yourself: Trust your intuition and inner voice. Pay close attention to any signs of blame-shifting, avoidance of responsibility, defensiveness, or refusal to take ownership displayed by the narcissistic individual.
  2. Take Time for Yourself: Find moments of solace away from the conflict. Engage in self-reflection and ask yourself what you need. Whether it’s an hour, a day, a week, or even a month away from the narcissistic individual, prioritize self-care and nurture your well-being.
  3. Set Boundaries: While setting boundaries may not always be possible due to the relentless boundary-breaking behavior of narcissists, evaluate whether you can establish healthier boundaries within the relationship. If not, it might be necessary to consider more drastic measures and seek support for a separation.


Narcissistic abuse inflicts significant emotional and psychological exhaustion on its victims. The confusion created by manipulative tactics and the constant struggle to maintain emotional equilibrium can be debilitating. By recognizing the primary problem of emotional exhaustion, victims can take steps toward healing, setting boundaries, and seeking the support they need to reclaim their lives and well-being. Remember, you are not alone, and there is help available for those affected by narcissistic abuse.

To learn how we can help, reach out to us at (206) 219-0145 or info@marriagerecoverycenter.com to speak with a Client Care Specialist

Also read: How to Heal From Emotional Abuse

About Dr. Hawkins:

The internet is inundated with hyperbole and misinformation about narcissism, leaving many people confused and hopeless. Get the facts on narcissism and emotional abuse from someone who has been researching, writing about and treating narcissism and emotional abuse for over a decade.

Dr. Hawkins is a best-selling author and clinical psychologist with over three decades of experience helping people break unhealthy patterns and build healthier relationships.

He is the founder and director of the Marriage Recovery Center and the Emotional Abuse Institute which offers education, training and counseling for people who want to break free of, and heal from, emotional abuse. Whether the perpetrator of the abuse is your spouse, partner, parent, boss, friend or family member, we offer practical advice for anyone trapped in a toxic, destructive relationship.

In addition to narcissism & emotional abuse, you’ll learn about the lesser known forms of abuse, including covert abuse, reactive abuse, spiritual abuse, secondary abuse, relationship trauma and much more.


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