Is It Abuse?
The term “abuse” can feel like a heavy and serious accusation.
Your partner’s actions are hurtful, but are they bad enough to be considered abuse?
Our aim is to provide you with information to help you gain greater clarity about your relationship, to learn to recognize the signs of emotional abuse, and get help.
One of the most harmful and insidious aspects of emotional abuse is that it is difficult for anyone, even the person it is happening to, to recognize it. The person experiencing it is unable to articulate what they are experiencing and how it is impacting them. They live in a constant state of confusion and isolation, unaware of its long-term effects on their emotional, mental and physical health. All of these things make it it very difficult to get help.
What Is Emotional Abuse?
Emotional abuse is a pattern of behaviors used to gain power and control over another person. The behaviors often emerge during incidents that question or threaten the abuser’s sense of identity which revolves around their need to always be right, in control, and the belief that they are better and smarter than everyone else.
Below are some articles that will help you gain a deeper understanding of emotional abuse and what it looks and sounds like.
Defining Emotional Abuse
- An Assault on Your Identity
- An Assault on Your Perception of Reality
- Anger as Weaponry
An Assault on Identity
- You are treated as if your opinions, thoughts and feelings don’t matter.
- You are always wrong, THEY are always right.
- You are constantly put down and made to feel worthless.
An Assault on Perception of Reality
- Gaslighting: “I never said that, you’re remembering that wrong. Ask anyone, they all think you over-react to everything.”
- Crazy-making: “Why do you always assume the worst about me? You just don’t love me anymore.”
- Love-bombing: abusive behavior followed by kind, loving behavior to win back your trust and favor.
Anger as Weaponry
We tend to think of anger as physically and emotionally aggressive behavior, such as rage, threats, throwing things, etc., it also includes punishment and retaliatory behavior, such as
- The silent treatment that can last days or weeks.
- Withdrawal of affection aka “the cold shoulder.”
- Smear campaign make you look like the bad guy and isolate you from friends and family
