Leading Authority in Treatment of Narcissism and Emotional Abuse

Practice Mindfulness

How to Practice Mindfulness

Do you want to learn an incredibly effective technique for instantly calming your nervous system, your mind, and emotions? It’s very simple to learn, takes just 2-3 minutes to do, and can be done anywhere at any time. Join Lee as he guides you through an exercise to practice mindfulness.

How to Practice Mindfulness: A Path to Presence and Relationship Harmony

In an age of constant distractions and noise, the concept of mindfulness has emerged as a transformative tool for enhancing our overall well-being and nurturing healthier relationships. At MRC, we’ve witnessed the profound impact of mindfulness on people’s lives for the past three years. However, my personal journey with mindfulness began even before my time as a coach, spanning a period of 15 years when I worked as both a yoga and meditation teacher.

In this article, we will delve into the essence of mindfulness, its significance, and its profound influence on relationships. We will also illustrate the practical application of mindfulness through the “cockroach theory” and two fundamental mindfulness practices: body scanning and breath awareness.

Understanding the Essence of Mindfulness

Before delving into the practical aspects of mindfulness, it’s crucial to comprehend its meaning. The Japanese kanji symbol for mindfulness beautifully encapsulates its core principle. At the top, it represents shelter or presence, while at the bottom, it signifies the heart. Mindfulness entails being sheltered in the heart or being present in the heart. But why do we need mindfulness?

Mindfulness is not merely a contemporary buzzword. It offers an array of health benefits, such as blood pressure reduction, calming of the nervous system, improved sleep quality, and enhanced adaptability when facing challenging circumstances. Beyond its health-related advantages, mindfulness fundamentally transforms the way we interpret and react to the world around us.

The Cockroach Theory: A Lesson in Mindfulness

The “cockroach theory,” as elucidated by Sundar Pichai, Google’s current CEO, offers a thought-provoking perspective on mindfulness. In this narrative, Pichai observes a cockroach landing on a restaurant patron’s shirt, leading to panic and agitation. Eventually, the cockroach finds its way to the waiter’s shirt, but the waiter remains composed. This incident prompted Pichai to ponder whether the cockroach itself was the problem or whether the excessive reactivity to it was the true issue.

Pichai extrapolated this scenario to our everyday lives, where we frequently exhibit strong reactions to external stimuli, such as traffic or familial triggers. He realized that it is not the external events causing our distress, but rather our interpretation and reaction to them. Mindfulness encourages us to gain control over our interpretation of events, empowering us with greater autonomy over our emotional responses.

Being Present in the Body

Mindfulness teaches us that while our body exists exclusively in the present moment, our mind frequently wanders to the past or future. Our authentic human experience is rooted in the present moment, and mindfulness seeks to reunite our mind and body, fostering heightened awareness of the “here and now.” It is not merely a matter of discussing mindfulness; it is about putting it into practice.

Let’s explore two simple mindfulness practices that can significantly impact your life and relationships.

Body Scanning: An Exploration of Sensations

Body scanning is a straightforward practice that involves directing your awareness to different parts of your body, one at a time. To engage in this practice:

  1. Find a serene space where you can sit or lie down comfortably.
  2. Close your eyes.
  3. Begin at the top of your head and systematically move your awareness down through your body to your feet.
  4. Observe any sensations, pulsations, or feelings in each body part.
  5. Refrain from judgment or attempting to alter anything.
  6. Simply be present with the sensations as they arise.

This practice enhances your connection with your body and brings to light sensations you might not have noticed previously. By paying attention to your physical self in the present moment, you can attain a sense of calm and presence.

Breath Awareness: Focusing on the Breath

Breath awareness is another fundamental mindfulness practice that revolves around concentrating on your breath. Here’s how to engage in this practice:

  1. Find a tranquil, comfortable space.
  2. Close your eyes.
  3. Initiate breathing in through your nose and out through your nose.
  4. Attend to the sensations of your breath entering and departing your body.
  5. Notice how your breath traverses through your nose, chest, and lower belly.
  6. If your mind drifts, gently redirect your focus back to your breath.

This practice enables you to remain anchored in the present moment. As you become more mindful of your breath, you’ll observe that your mind becomes more tranquil, allowing you to respond thoughtfully and compassionately to situations.

The Power of Mindfulness

Incorporating mindfulness into your daily life can profoundly enrich your well-being and relationships. Mindfulness empowers you to regain command over your emotional responses, ultimately leading to more thoughtful and compassionate interactions with others. By practicing body scanning and breath awareness, you can discover the art of being present in the moment and cultivate a deeper sense of inner tranquility.

Remember, mindfulness is a journey, and it is through practice that its authentic power is revealed. Whether you find yourself swatting at the “cockroaches” in life or adopting the composed demeanor of the waiter, mindfulness can serve as your guiding light on the path to a more enriching and harmonious existence.

If you ever feel the need for guidance on your mindfulness journey, supportive communities like MRC are readily available to assist you in navigating this transformative path towards a more mindful and balanced life. Embrace mindfulness, and you’ll discover that it transcends mere terminology; it is the catalyst for transforming your life and relationships.

To learn how we can help, reach out to us at (206) 219-0145 or info@marriagerecoverycenter.com to speak with a Client Care Specialist

Also read: Do You Have Narcissist Tendencies?

About Dr. Hawkins:

The internet is inundated with hyperbole and misinformation about narcissism, leaving many people confused and hopeless. Get the facts on narcissism and emotional abuse from someone who has been researching, writing about and treating narcissism and emotional abuse for over a decade.

Dr. Hawkins is a best-selling author and clinical psychologist with over three decades of experience helping people break unhealthy patterns and build healthier relationships.

He is the founder and director of the Marriage Recovery Center and the Emotional Abuse Institute which offers education, training and counseling for people who want to break free of, and heal from, emotional abuse. Whether the perpetrator of the abuse is your spouse, partner, parent, boss, friend or family member, we offer practical advice for anyone trapped in a toxic, destructive relationship.

In addition to narcissism & emotional abuse, you’ll learn about the lesser known forms of abuse, including covert abuse, reactive abuse, spiritual abuse, secondary abuse, relationship trauma and much more.


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