Dr. David B. Hawkins, Director of The Marriage Recovery Center, offers a third simple test to help you determine if you are with a Narcissist, and steps you can take to possibly help the relationship. This is not meant to be a sophisticated, clinical test, but rather offer insights into your relationship and possible concerns and ways to improve matters.
Are You a Narcissist? Take This Simple Test
Assessing the narcissist in your life can be a challenging task. Understanding the health and enjoyability of your relationships is crucial in determining if there are aspects that need to change. In this article, we will explore a simple test to assess narcissistic tendencies and evaluate the quality of your interactions. By considering these five key elements, you can gain valuable insights into your relationships and identify areas for improvement.
Undivided Attention: Giving and Receiving
A healthy interaction involves giving and receiving undivided attention. It means putting aside distractions like television or cellphones and fully attending to the other person. By actively listening without defensiveness, you create an environment of genuine connection. When someone gives you their undivided attention, you feel valued and respected. Assess whether you and your partner prioritize providing this undivided attention.
Non-Defensive Listening: Bracketing Reactions
Non-defensive listening is essential for healthy communication. It requires suspending your immediate reactions and fully absorbing what the other person is saying. This skill enables you to receive critical feedback and engage in open, honest conversations. By bracketing your own reactions, you demonstrate a willingness to understand the other person’s perspective. Assess if you and your partner can listen non-defensively and create a safe space for open dialogue.
Empathy and Caring
Empathy and caring are vital components of a healthy relationship. Empathy goes beyond merely reflecting back someone’s feelings. It involves truly understanding and sharing their emotional experience. A caring partner shows genuine interest in your life and empathizes with your struggles. They ask probing questions and express curiosity about your thoughts and emotions. Assess whether your partner displays empathy and shows a sincere interest in understanding you on a deeper level.
Attachment: Building a Strong Connection
Healthy relationships are built on attachment. It means being connected to one another, embracing vulnerability, and risking potential emotional hurt. Attachment allows for intimacy and fosters a sense of closeness. Assess whether you and your partner have a secure attachment where you both feel comfortable expressing your emotions and needs. Building a strong attachment is an essential aspect of a healthy relationship.
Enjoying the Connection: Intimacy and Fulfillment
Lastly, a healthy interaction should bring joy and fulfillment. You and your partner should enjoy spending time together and genuinely appreciate each other’s company. Sharing experiences and truly being present creates intimacy and deepens the connection. Assess whether you and your partner find genuine pleasure in each other’s presence and prioritize the enjoyment of your relationship.
Assessing narcissistic tendencies and evaluating the health of your relationships is crucial for personal growth and satisfaction. By considering the five elements mentioned above, you can gain valuable insights into your interactions and identify areas for improvement. Remember that healthy relationships require undivided attention, non-defensive listening, empathy, attachment, and the enjoyment of connection. By focusing on these aspects, you can cultivate stronger, more fulfilling relationships in your life.
Also read: What is Invisible Abuse
About Dr. Hawkins:
The internet is inundated with hyperbole and misinformation about narcissism, leaving many people confused and hopeless. Get the facts on narcissism and emotional abuse from someone who has been researching, writing about and treating narcissism and emotional abuse for over a decade.
Dr. Hawkins is a best-selling author and clinical psychologist with over three decades of experience helping people break unhealthy patterns and build healthier relationships.
He is the founder and director of the Marriage Recovery Center and the Emotional Abuse Institute which offers education, training and counseling for people who want to break free of, and heal from, emotional abuse. Whether the perpetrator of the abuse is your spouse, partner, parent, boss, friend or family member, we offer practical advice for anyone trapped in a toxic, destructive relationship.
In addition to narcissism & emotional abuse, you’ll learn about the lesser known forms of abuse, including covert abuse, reactive abuse, spiritual abuse, secondary abuse, relationship trauma and much more.