In the journey of marriage, challenges are common, and couples often seek help to mend their relationships. Dr. David Hawkins and Life Coach Lee Kaufman discuss the pathway to marriage healing, highlighting the importance of both individual and joint efforts. Couples who come for assistance genuinely want to stay together, but they seek guidance to hold their partner accountable and find hope for a better future.
A Pathway to Marriage Healing
In the world of relationships, the vast majority of couples face challenges at some point in their journey. It’s not uncommon for couples to seek help when they find themselves at a crossroads. In this article, we will explore the path to healing within a marriage, emphasizing the importance of understanding that relationships require both individual and joint efforts.
The Desire to Stay Together
When couples face difficulties in their marriage, a common desire emerges – the wish to stay together. In the vast majority of cases, couples come seeking guidance and support because they genuinely want to make their relationship work. This mutual desire to salvage the marriage is a powerful driving force.
In conversations with women who reach out for help, we often hear a common sentiment. They want to ensure that the person guiding them will hold their partner accountable for their actions. However, behind this request for accountability, there’s an underlying hope. They yearn for assurance that the relationship can be mended, that there’s hope for a brighter future together.
A Balanced Approach
At the Marriage Recovery Center, we have embraced a balanced approach to relationship healing. We recognize that each partner may have work to do individually. This means acknowledging the concept of “his work” and “her work” within the marriage. While these are individual paths, we must remember that they are intrinsically connected. A marriage is a partnership, and the health of one partner directly impacts the other.
One crucial aspect of our approach is that we never advocate for ending a marriage outright. Instead, we view a marriage as an opportunity for growth and transformation. Byron Katie’s famous words, “If you want to learn and change and grow, choose a partner. It will force the process,” resonate deeply with us. We are cautious about making definitive decisions about a couple’s future. We believe it’s the couple’s prerogative to determine the fate of their marriage.
The Importance of a Plan
Every individual who seeks help within a troubled marriage wants a plan. A roadmap to navigate the complexities of the relationship is crucial. While we don’t intend to micromanage the entire process, we do provide guidance and feedback on the changes that need to occur. We offer a structured plan that offers hope and direction.
A Journey Towards Healing
One analogy that resonates well when considering healing within a marriage is likening it to physical therapy. After an accident or trauma, a physical therapist begins by building the most basic movements, like walking or crawling. Similarly, in marriage, if a couple is in dire straits and struggling to engage in healthy behaviors together, we start at the very beginning.
However, for couples who are already on the path of healing and are eager to advance, we offer more advanced strategies. The idea is to tailor the healing process to the unique needs and progress of each couple.
The Intensive Approach
One distinguishing feature of the Marriage Recovery Center is our willingness to roll up our sleeves and work intensively with couples. We offer intensive programs that go beyond traditional weekly counseling sessions. These intensives are designed to address the most pressing issues in a concentrated and comprehensive manner.
We acknowledge that some of the most critical issues often surface around the 45-minute mark of a session, right when you’re about to wrap up the conversation. Our intensive programs provide the time and space needed to delve deeper into these issues, unpack them, and work through them collaboratively.
Furthermore, for couples who require even more intensive assistance, we offer the option for our counselors to visit them in their own environment. This approach is rooted in the belief that couples are often most comfortable in their own homes and communities. By bringing the therapy to their doorstep, we can observe the authentic dynamics and vulnerabilities within the relationship more clearly.
In conclusion, healing within a marriage is a multifaceted journey that requires commitment from both partners. At the Marriage Recovery Center, we embrace a balanced approach that focuses on both individual and joint work, offering structured plans and intensive programs to facilitate the healing process.
While every couple’s journey is unique, the ultimate goal is to restore a healthy and thriving partnership. Remember, the path to healing is not about deciding whether to stay or leave; it’s about creating a stronger, more resilient bond.
Also read: Why Emotional Abuse Goes Unseen?
About Dr. Hawkins:
The internet is inundated with hyperbole and misinformation about narcissism, leaving many people confused and hopeless. Get the facts on narcissism and emotional abuse from someone who has been researching, writing about and treating narcissism and emotional abuse for over a decade.
Dr. Hawkins is a best-selling author and clinical psychologist with over three decades of experience helping people break unhealthy patterns and build healthier relationships.
He is the founder and director of the Marriage Recovery Center and the Emotional Abuse Institute which offers education, training and counseling for people who want to break free of, and heal from, emotional abuse. Whether the perpetrator of the abuse is your spouse, partner, parent, boss, friend or family member, we offer practical advice for anyone trapped in a toxic, destructive relationship.
In addition to narcissism & emotional abuse, you’ll learn about the lesser known forms of abuse, including covert abuse, reactive abuse, spiritual abuse, secondary abuse, relationship trauma and much more.