Narcissism is a term that gets thrown around a lot, but what does it really mean? Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a diagnosable mental health condition, while narcissistic behaviors can exist on a spectrum. This means that while everyone exhibits some level of self-focus, the degree to which it manifests determines if someone has narcissistic tendencies or even NPD.

If you’re wondering whether you might have narcissistic traits, Dr. David Hawkins will guide you through a self-assessment. So are you a narcissist? Be honest with yourself and consider seeking feedback from those around you. Let’s get started!

Understanding Narcissistic Traits

Before assessing yourself, it’s important to understand the key characteristics of narcissism. These traits include:

• Excessive need for admiration
• A sense of entitlement
• Lack of empathy
• Inflated sense of self-importance
• Preoccupation with fantasies of success, power, or beauty
• Difficulty accepting criticism and being overly defensive

Now, let’s dive into the self-assessment process.

1. Self-Reflection – Do You Recognize These Traits in Yourself?

Take a moment to reflect. Do you see these traits in your behavior? Self-awareness is the first step in identifying narcissistic tendencies. Ask yourself:

• Do I crave admiration and praise?
• Do I struggle to empathize with others?
• Do I feel superior to those around me?
• Am I overly sensitive to criticism?

Honest self-reflection is crucial, but it’s not always easy. Our perception of ourselves may not align with how others see us.

2. Seek Honest Feedback

While self-reflection is helpful, external feedback is essential. Ask friends, family, or colleagues for their observations:

• Do they feel heard and valued in conversations with you?
• Do they perceive you as open to criticism, or do you become defensive?
• Do they think you show genuine care and concern for others?

A major limitation here is that narcissistic behavior often manifests behind closed doors, particularly in intimate relationships. This means that colleagues or casual friends might not recognize certain behaviors that a partner or close family member might experience.

3. Evaluate Your Emotional Responses

Your emotional reactions to criticism and feedback can provide insight into your personality. Consider these questions:

• How do I react when someone points out my flaws or mistakes?
• Do I accept constructive criticism with grace, or do I get defensive?
• Do I feel the need to prove my superiority in conversations?

Narcissistic tendencies often include an inflated sense of self-importance and a hypersensitivity to criticism. If you find yourself frequently justifying or explaining away negative feedback, this might be something to examine more closely.

4. Notice Patterns in Your Behavior

Patterns in your daily interactions can be revealing. Ask yourself:

• In group conversations, do I dominate the discussion or listen to others?
• Do I take an active interest in what excites others, even if it doesn’t interest me personally?
• Do I use others to achieve my own goals without considering their well-being?
• Am I genuinely interested in people, or do I see them as tools for my success?

Exploitation is a key trait of narcissism. Those with narcissistic tendencies often prioritize their own success and validation over the well-being of others.

5. Assess Your Level of Empathy

Empathy is a critical component of healthy relationships. Consider:

• Do I feel genuine compassion for others, or do I struggle to connect with their emotions?
• Can I sit with someone in their pain, or do I dismiss or minimize their struggles?
• Do I allow others to be vulnerable with me, and can I be vulnerable with them?

A lack of empathy is one of the most defining characteristics of narcissism. If you struggle to connect with others emotionally, it might be worth examining why.

6. How Do You Handle Vulnerability?

Narcissists often struggle with vulnerability and tend to engage in “image management”—ensuring they appear special, successful, or perfect. Consider:

• Do I admit my faults openly, or do I feel the need to maintain a flawless image?
• Am I comfortable acknowledging my struggles, or do I fear appearing weak?

Being able to openly discuss weaknesses and failures is a sign of emotional maturity. If you find yourself avoiding vulnerability, this might be an area for growth.

7. Seek Professional Insight

If you recognize several of these traits in yourself, seeking professional insight can be beneficial. A trained clinician, particularly one experienced in narcissism and emotional abuse, can help assess whether you have narcissistic tendencies or NPD.

A major red flag is an unwillingness to seek help. If the idea of therapy feels unnecessary or offensive, that might be an indication of deeper narcissistic traits. Additionally, a therapist might suggest speaking with those close to you—such as a spouse or adult children—to gain a fuller picture of your behaviors.

Are You a Narcissist? – Final Thoughts

Narcissism exists on a spectrum, and simply having some narcissistic traits does not mean you have NPD. However, self-awareness is the key to growth. If you find that many of these traits resonate with you, consider taking proactive steps to develop empathy, improve your relationships, and seek professional guidance if needed.

The most important thing is to approach this self-assessment with honesty and a willingness to grow. True change begins with awareness and the courage to look inward. So, what did you learn about yourself today?

To learn how we can help, reach out to us at (206) 219-0145 or info@marriagerecoverycenter.com to speak with a Client Care Specialist

Also read: Does Emotional Abuse Cause Brain Fog?

About Dr. Hawkins:

The internet is inundated with hyperbole and misinformation about narcissism, leaving many people confused and hopeless. Get the facts on narcissism and emotional abuse from someone who has been researching, writing about and treating narcissism and emotional abuse for over a decade.

Dr. Hawkins is a best-selling author and clinical psychologist with over three decades of experience helping people break unhealthy patterns and build healthier relationships.

He is the founder and director of the Marriage Recovery Center and the Emotional Abuse Institute which offers education, training and counseling for people who want to break free of, and heal from, emotional abuse. Whether the perpetrator of the abuse is your spouse, partner, parent, boss, friend or family member, we offer practical advice for anyone trapped in a toxic, destructive relationship.

In addition to narcissism & emotional abuse, you’ll learn about the lesser known forms of abuse, including covert abuse, reactive abuse, spiritual abuse, secondary abuse, relationship trauma and much more.