If you’ve thought that treating narcissism and emotional abuse is impossible, maybe you have to think again. Dr. David Hawkins, Director of the Marriage Recovery Center and the Emotional Abuse Institute, specializes in treating both victims and perpetrators of narcissistic and emotional abuse. While it is indeed an uphill journey for both victims and perpetrators, it is a long and challenging path. We will talk specifically about treating perpetrators of narcissistic and emotional abuse and the 5 step recovery program for narcissists.
If you believe all the hype that narcissists can’t be treated, maybe you need to reconsider. Narcissism and emotional abuse exist on a spectrum. Are there individuals who are untreatable? For sure. Are many of them difficult to treat? Absolutely. However, here is the key: if there is a structured and viable path of healing, then treatment is possible.
Let’s emphasize this: there needs to be a structured and viable path of healing. Traditional counseling is not going to be effective. There are five key issues that must be addressed when we’re talking about narcissistic and emotional abuse. Each one of these issues needs to fit into a structured and viable path of healing, facilitated by a professional experienced in narcissism and emotional abuse. Such professionals can discern which individuals are treatable and which ones are not. For those who may be treatable, the following five issues must be addressed:
1. Treating Arrogance and Superiority
The first critical issue that needs to be addressed is the narcissist’s attitude of arrogance and superiority. Narcissists often believe they are inherently better, more deserving, or more important than others. This attitude must be tackled head-on in treatment. Simply telling a narcissist to change won’t work. A focused level of treatment is necessary, involving a structured program designed to break down this deeply ingrained belief of superiority. This program should help them understand the value of humility and the importance of seeing others as equals.
2. Addressing Pervasive Emotional Immaturity
The second key issue is pervasive emotional immaturity. Narcissists often exhibit behaviors that are more fitting for a child than an adult. They pout, withdraw, show passive aggression, and stonewall. These patterns are not merely annoying—they are damaging and disruptive. Victims of narcissistic abuse are painfully aware of these traits. Effective treatment must bring these patterns to light, and the abuser’s voice needs to be heard in the process. Structured programs should aim to foster emotional growth, teaching the narcissist to handle emotions in a mature, responsible manner.
3. Confronting Self-Protection Mechanisms
Narcissists are masters of self-protection, utilizing mechanisms such as denial, minimization, rationalization, defensiveness, blame-shifting, playing the victim, and making excuses. These thinking errors or cognitive distortions serve to shield them from acknowledging their faults and the harm they cause. For treatment to be effective, these patterns must be confronted directly. A structured program should help the narcissist recognize these mechanisms and learn healthier ways of self-reflection and accountability.
4. Cultivating Empathy
Empathy is a skill that can be developed, and it is crucial for narcissists to learn it. Lack of empathy is a hallmark of narcissism, leading to significant relational harm. Empathy training can be incorporated into treatment by encouraging the narcissist to practice empathy in various contexts—whether with children, partners, friends, or even pets. This process involves walking in another person’s shoes and imagining their feelings. A structured and viable path of healing should include specific exercises and practices designed to enhance and cultivate empathy.
5. Ensuring Dedication to Change
Finally, treatment must address the narcissist’s lack of dedication to change. Narcissists often look for shortcuts, believing that a few counseling sessions are sufficient. This mindset needs to be challenged. True change requires a long-term commitment, often involving one to two years of intensive treatment. The structured program must emphasize the necessity of ongoing effort and dedication. Only through a sustained commitment can genuine, lasting change occur.
5 Step Recovery Program for Narcissists
So, is treatment for narcissistic and emotional abuse possible? Yes, it is. There is hope, but only if the perpetrator is engaged in a structured and viable path of healing designed to bring about meaningful change. This involves addressing their underlying attitude of arrogance, pervasive emotional immaturity, self-protection mechanisms, lack of empathy, and lack of dedication to the change process.
At the Marriage Recovery Center and the Emotional Abuse Institute, we offer a three-tiered program for perpetrators of narcissistic and emotional abuse. Our client care team is ready to answer your questions and guide you toward the best help possible. Remember, shortcuts won’t do it. Quick fixes aren’t available. Real treatment is what can bring about lasting change.
If you or someone you know is struggling with narcissistic tendencies and causing emotional harm, don’t lose hope. With the right support and a structured approach, recovery is possible.
To learn how we can help, reach out to us at (206) 219-0145 or info@marriagerecoverycenter.com to speak with a Client Care Specialist
Also read: The Dangers of Therapy for Emotional Abuse
About Dr. Hawkins:
The internet is inundated with hyperbole and misinformation about narcissism, leaving many people confused and hopeless. Get the facts on narcissism and emotional abuse from someone who has been researching, writing about and treating narcissism and emotional abuse for over a decade.
Dr. Hawkins is a best-selling author and clinical psychologist with over three decades of experience helping people break unhealthy patterns and build healthier relationships.
He is the founder and director of the Marriage Recovery Center and the Emotional Abuse Institute which offers education, training and counseling for people who want to break free of, and heal from, emotional abuse. Whether the perpetrator of the abuse is your spouse, partner, parent, boss, friend or family member, we offer practical advice for anyone trapped in a toxic, destructive relationship.
In addition to narcissism & emotional abuse, you’ll learn about the lesser known forms of abuse, including covert abuse, reactive abuse, spiritual abuse, secondary abuse, relationship trauma and much more.
