Leading Authority in Treatment of Narcissism and Emotional Abuse

marriage counseling

5 Reasons Marriage Counseling Fails

Dr. David B. Hawkins, Director of The Marriage Recovery Center, teaches about the Five Reasons Marriage Counseling Fails and how you can seek out the best help for your challenges.

Five Reasons Marriage Counseling Fails

Marriage counseling is a field that many people have limited knowledge about. Whether you are seeking help for yourself or considering referring someone for marriage counseling, it’s important to understand the effectiveness of such services. In this article, we will explore the five reasons why marriage counseling fails and how the Marriage Recovery Center sets itself apart by addressing these issues. By examining these reasons, you can determine if this approach is right for you or someone you know.

Lack of Wise Instruction

One significant reason why marriage counseling often fails is the absence of wise instruction from a qualified professional. While empathy, rapport, and active listening are important qualities in a counselor, they alone are insufficient to bring about substantial change in a marriage. To truly address the issues and improve the situation, it is crucial to have guidance from someone experienced and knowledgeable in the field. A qualified marriage counselor should be able to identify the mistakes being made and offer practical advice on how to make necessary changes.

Insufficient Active Interest

Another reason why marriage counseling can fall short is the lack of active interest shown by the counselor. It is essential for the counselor to genuinely care about the couple’s well-being and take a genuine interest in their unique problems. A passionate and dedicated counselor, like those at the Marriage Recovery Center, will actively engage with the couple and their specific challenges. This active interest ensures that the couple feels supported and that their concerns are properly addressed.

Limited Insight

Insight is a vital component of effective marriage counseling. A qualified counselor should possess critical experience and a thorough understanding of the couple’s problems. By providing valuable insights, the counselor enables the couple to gain a deeper understanding of their dynamics, connection collapses, and harmful patterns. This newfound awareness empowers them to make positive changes, utilize different skills, and transform their relationship for the better.

Lack of Intensity

Many couples opt for traditional one-hour-per-week counseling sessions, which often prove insufficient to make significant progress. The limited time frame can feel like trying to fill a 50-gallon drum with an eyedropper. At the Marriage Recovery Center, the emphasis is placed on intensive therapy. Working in three-day sessions or extended blocks of time allows for a more focused and impactful approach. By dedicating concentrated time to the counseling process, couples can address multiple issues comprehensively, accelerating the rate of improvement.

Superficial Solutions

Superficial solutions and temporary fixes are not conducive to resolving deep-rooted marital problems. Band-Aid approaches rarely lead to lasting change. For marriage counseling to be effective, it must delve into the underlying issues and facilitate in-depth transformation. Commitment to genuine change, both from the couple and the counselor, is essential. The Marriage Recovery Center encourages couples to embark on an in-depth journey, where they can trust the process, invest time and energy, and experience profound growth in their relationship.

In conclusion, these five reasons outline the common pitfalls that contribute to the failure of counseling. To counteract these shortcomings, it is crucial to seek out counseling services that provide wise instruction, active interest, keen insight, intensive work, and an in-depth approach.

To learn how we can help, reach out to us at (206) 219-0145 or info@marriagerecoverycenter.com to speak with a Client Care Specialist

Also read: How to Fix and Save a Broken Marriage

About Dr. Hawkins:

The internet is inundated with hyperbole and misinformation about narcissism, leaving many people confused and hopeless. Get the facts on narcissism and emotional abuse from someone who has been researching, writing about and treating narcissism and emotional abuse for over a decade.

Dr. Hawkins is a best-selling author and clinical psychologist with over three decades of experience helping people break unhealthy patterns and build healthier relationships.

He is the founder and director of the Marriage Recovery Center and the Emotional Abuse Institute which offers education, training and counseling for people who want to break free of, and heal from, emotional abuse. Whether the perpetrator of the abuse is your spouse, partner, parent, boss, friend or family member, we offer practical advice for anyone trapped in a toxic, destructive relationship.

In addition to narcissism & emotional abuse, you’ll learn about the lesser known forms of abuse, including covert abuse, reactive abuse, spiritual abuse, secondary abuse, relationship trauma and much more.


Sign up our newsletter to get updated information, promo or insight for free.

Latest Post


Need Help?
Get The Support You Need From One Of Our Therapists
hope for your relationship

Free eBook Reveals the Keys to

Hope and Healing for Your Relationship

Learn what it takes to heal old wounds and experience real change from the inside out.

This free eBook will help you:

  • Heal past wounds
  • Repair broken connections
  • Understand and communicate your needs
  • Forge a new path of hope and possibility

Experience a transformative shift in your relationship.

Download your free copy today.